W e all know that there are a lot of misconceptions about homeschoolers, and, while most of those tend to be centered around the kids, there are a lot of misconceptions about homeschool moms (and dads), as well. I’m often surprised to hear some of the things that people who don’t homeschool think about homeschooling parents. I guess I shouldn’t be. I used to be a public school mom (for two years) and I imagine that I thought some of these things, too, though it’s been so long that I really can’t recall for sure.
Anyway, I’d like to make some homeschool mom confessions (at least, as relates to this homeschool mom). Oh, and the title just sounded fun. No negative implications intended there at all. Some of my best friends and favorite relatives are public school parents.
1. We do not have superhuman patience. I can’t tell you the number of people who say to me, “I couldn’t homeschool; I don’t have enough patience” or some variation thereof. Let me tell you, my name and patience rarely occur in the same sentence unless someone is saying, “Kris has no patience.”
I have told people, “I know that homeschooling isn’t for everyone and I’m not suggesting that you should homeschool, but if you’re going to give me an excuse, you’ll have to come up with a better one than that because if I have enough patience to homeschool, anybody does!”
When we first began homeschooling, I told the neighbors, “If you come home from work one afternoon and there is yellow police tape around the house, you’ll know that one of us [the kids or I] ran out of patience.” So far, we’ve all survived, but seriously? I’ve done homework with my oldest when she was in public school. So far, my worst day of homeschooling hasn’t been any worse than my worst night of homework.
2. We don’t homeschool because it gives us the warm fuzzies. There are probably almost as many reasons to homeschool as there are homeschoolers, but I don’t know of anyone who does this just because it makes them feel good because, you know what? Some days, it does not feel good. Some days involve tears, whining, yelling…before breakfast…and not necessarily from the kids. Which leads me to confession number three…
3. Some days, we watch with envy as that yellow school bus drives by. We don’t do this because it’s easy or a cop-out. Some days, homeschooling is just hard. Some of us have been known to threaten to send our kids to public school (my kids can tell you exactly how far we live from the public school because I’ve mentioned it a time or two).
Some of us have spent more time than we’d care to admit daydreaming about what we might do if our kids were in school all day. And, there are some days when it takes every ounce of will power not to chase down that school bus. However, when push comes to shove, we know there is nothing else we’d rather do than homeschool our kids.
4. We don’t think our kids are better or smarter than yours. Most of us are average moms and dads with average kids who have their areas of strength and their areas of weakness — academically and personally — just like yours. We have our hopes and fears, doubts and insecurities just like you do. Do some homeschool parents have gifted kids? Absolutely! Do some homeschool parents have kids whom the parents think are gifted, but in reality, not so much? Yes. Do some public school parents have gifted kids? Yep. Do some public school parents have kids whom the parents think are gifted, but in reality, not so much? I think you see where this is going.
We all — public, private, or homeschool parents — think our kids are pretty special. That doesn’t mean that we, the homeschool parents, think our kids are better than those not educated at home.
5. Our decision to homeschool is not a personal commentary on your decision not to. Contrary to popular belief, we do not think that homeschooling is for everyone. We don’t think that you’re a bad parent or that you don’t care about your kids as much as we care about ours because you don’t homeschool them. We see educational choices as yet another personal parenting choice and we realize that you are making the choices that you see as best for your family, just as we are.
6. Our decision to homeschool is not a personal commentary on the jobs of public school teachers. Many of us do have a beef with the public school system as a whole (I don’t think that is exclusive to homeschoolers). Although we may see the system as flawed, this observation does not typically extend to individual teachers. Most of us realize that the majority of teachers are good people, doing a good job with a whole lot expected of them for pitifully low compensation based on the time and effort their jobs require.
7. We realize that there are homeschooling families who probably should not be homeschooling. However, this is true in every area of life. There are public and private school teachers who have no business in the classroom. There are parents who have no business having kids.
We, who are so often judged, try not to judge others and we definitely do not want to our rights as parents restricted because of a few sensationalized cases. The majority of parents who homeschool are doing so honestly and with integrity, raising kids who are just as ready for life after homeschool as any other kid is for life after graduation.
8. Just because we’re Christian doesn’t mean that we are “religious homeschoolers.” There are a huge percentage of us who, while we are people of faith, would not necessarily say that we are homeschooling for religious reasons. Being able to share our faith with our kids and looking at our studies with a Christian worldview is a huge benefit of homeschooling, but many of us would not consider it the singular reason we homeschool.
9. We don’t do this to shelter, over-protect, or isolate our children. People who don’t homeschool often don’t realize what is available to homeschooled kids. Our area offers band, soccer, baseball, football, tennis, track, volleyball, prom, monthly socials, graduation, graduation banquet, year book, co-ops and classes, and so much more. These kids are not sitting at home by themselves every day. They’re out with other kids enough to experience their fair share mean kids, bullies, and, for the older kids, teen-aged angst.
And, look how many of us have more kids than the national 2.5 average! Seriously, if you have siblings, you know that there’s no one better to help you practice interpersonal and conflict resolution skills than siblings.
10. We don’t do this to annoy you. We homeschool because we feel that it’s the best choice for our families. We don’t ask you to think it’s the best choice for your family. We did not wake up one morning and flip a coin to decide on this lifestyle. We prayed about it, researched it, and talked about it long before deciding that homeschooling was the right choice for our family.
We do not come to your blogs or corner you at the soccer game to tell you how bad we think your decision to send your kids to public school is because we don’t care – not in the negative “don’t care” way, but in the “that’s your family’s decision and we respect that” way. You are doing what you feel is right for your kids and that’s exactly what you’re supposed to do. It’s what we’re doing, too.
What about you? What misconceptions would you like to address?
Thinking about homeschooling? Check out my eBook, Homeschooling 101. If you’re already homeschooling and would like to add more hands-on educational opportunities in your day, you might like Hands-On Learning.
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That is a great list. I love #7 too!
This is a *great* post!!! Love it!
Fantastic!
Well, I love the title!
I know several women who homeschool, and they would agree with you. I see how hard it is for them sometimes, but they all have valid reasons for their choice to homeschool and are genuinely acting in the best interest of their children.
I just SO adore this post! I feel EXACTLY as you do in all these areas.
I am grateful to live in a country that gives families so many options when it comes to schooling! Whether your family chooses public, private, or homeschool, I believe the most important factor in any child's education (speaking as a former public education teacher/parent, now a homeschooling one) is to be involved with whatever the kiddos are learning at the time. (And you don't have to be superhuman to do this!)
If I can get your permission, I would LOVE to link this article to my blog- I think it will be an encouragement to ALL parents!
Great post Kris! I think the more we parents (public school/homeschool/private school) share and talk with each other the better we will understand eachother. =0)
Wow! This is excellent! I've had all these thoughts before, but you've expressed it perfectly!
Love this! Thanks so much!
Thank you so much for this post! We are just starting our homeschooling journey and it made ME realize that I CAN DO THIS!!
Nicki
daveandnickiskids.blogspot.com
Kris,this is a great post. I wholeheartedly agree that the worst day of homeschooling is still not comparable to trying to complete one homework assignment with my 1st grader (at the time). That was one turning point when I realized I could practically complete a whole day of HS in the time it took us to finish that worksheet.
I agree with this entire article, but I can especially relate to this part. My son (1st grade at the time) and I would both be so frustrated after several hours of homework every night, that it helped me to make my decision to homeschool. I felt the same as you, that it wouldn’t take much longer just to do our school at home. Plus, it was very hard to get him to do more school work after being in school all day. With homeschooling, I get to work with him during his “more focused” hours, and then we have all evening to relax and enjoy family time. Great post! :)
@ Donita — That was us, too. My then first grader was bringing home two and three hours of homework a night and it was a battle every night. I finally told dh that we could just add an hour or two to that and we'd have a whole day of homeschool done…and I wouldn't have to listen to, "That's not how Ms. So-and-So said to do it."
Two thumbs up!!! awesome post Kris! Thank you
Fantastic!!! Well said!
This was really good!
"So far, my worst day of homeschooling hasn't been any worse than my worst night of homework."
That's well stated. Thanks for taking the time to write this up!
~Luke
LOVE it! Thank you so much!
How about addressing socialization. We don't sit around everyday doing nothing with other kids/families. This past week we did nothing but run around (teen get togethers, trading card day, park day, and prom). I can't wait for a week where I don't have to socialize.
I totally could have written this. Brava!
I think I'll send this to certain people I know
Much clapping and "wooting" over here!
:)(:
Love this list! I was beginning to think I was the only one who would throw my hands up in the air and mention leaving a kid at the bus stop in the morning for them to start public school… but I know I could never do that. Hehe…
Thanks! Take care!
This is a great post. You coherently articulated what I so often think/say (but not so coherently).
Awesome list. I love everyone of these! As a result of having one in homeschool and 2 in public school, I have at times disputed this one as well…my homeschooled child must have been having such a hard time in school that we ran out of options.
NOT true! On the contrary, she was a straight A student who wanted to be homeschooled and we decided to give it a try. Perfect fit!
The assumptions people make – UGH! :)
Agreeing. Just put our youngest on the “yellow monster” this week for high school. No–we did not “fail” at home schooling. And, “No” we did not realize the “error” of out ways. Through a lot of prayer and discussion with Dh we made the decision that this is the best option for our family this fall. Whether it’s a semester, a year or multi-year decision remains to be prayerfully considered.
Her older sister graduated from home school–and is doing very well, thank you.
Wonderful list! Couldn't have said it better!
So wonderfully written! I feel exactly the same way.
#5&6 are the hardest for me to articulate to my friends. I am one of 3 homeschoolers I know in our small new town – so we are grouping up with more and more moms from various schooling options. I almost hate to mention what we do – as I get the knee jerk reaction of their justification of their choice. . . . .I was jut mentioning ours, not attacking their sweet cute underpaid over passion nice teacher. :)
Excellent post! I haven't been homeschooling mine as my oldest is in kindergarten but who knows what could happen? I was home-schooled for much of my grade-school career and everything you said is spot-on.
Thank you for posting this~!
I loved this post. Just to add a note: My teenage boys are not socially awkward because their homeschooled, they're socially awkward because their teenage boys.
Leave them alone, they will grow out of it!!!
Great post. I think I need to print this off and hand it out at my upcomming family reunion. It would save me so much time to just have those 'concerned' family members read this.
wonderful! What I have thought many times. Thanks for writing it all out!
This is a wonderful post. It is so spot on and not generalizing at all. Thank you. I am a former home school parent who, right now has kids in 3 schools (one private Catholic, one private Montessori, and one in Public University). I still consider myself a home school mom because that option is always in the back of my mind. Different children at different times in their lives need different educational opportunities. I can't tell you how many times I was told I would ruin my kids. I said, I would ruin them anyway, so home schooling them wouldn't make a difference. lol Thanks for a great post.
@ Dieting — I can so relate to "I'm going to ruin them anyway…" Seriously, I don't think it matters what we, as parents, do; our kids are going to look back and wish we'd done something differently. It's just human nature.
I love your outlook on different kids/different educational needs. That's so true. It's all about doing what's best for each individual child.
One of the most bizarre misconceptions = even among homeschoolers = is that my children obey and respect at all times. SNORT. NOT.
They are a constant work in progress. CONSTANT.
Loved this post!!!
I think the single biggest misconception BY FAR is one you mentioned… That everyone assumes that we are homeschooling for religious reasons. Every single person who has EVER found out we homeschool assumed we went to church and are christian homeschoolers. We are not. We are secular homeschoolers. However, I have used Abeka curriculum, a christian curriculum up until this coming year. We are switching to Calvert. We used Abeka b/c both of my kids feel like they are christians. I sent them to christian private school before homeschool and they believe in God and the bible now. I do not. SO I went w/ that type of curriculum. I am switching to secular now b/c I want them to have secular Science. I know this was way more info than you needed about me.
But everyone always tells me "You are a stronger person than I am. I would never be able to homeschool my kids. I can barely get through homework" I tell them, I had a much harder time doing homework with my kids when they were in school than I have ever had homeschooling them. Homeschooling is not that hard and anybody dedictaed to it can do it. I know ppl who never graduated high school who have successfully homeschooled their kids all the way through high school. You learn with them as you go if you have to. I know I will have to relearn chemistry and geometry when it comes time. I was so traumatized by it I have mentally blocked it out. LOL.
Anyway, love the post!
Love this post. Thank you!
I guess we all make assumptions about others all the time. It's normal behaviour to try to figure where to 'file' people and things in our brains, but sometimes I could scream when the same old assumptions have to be dealt with again and again.
This is a FANTASTIC post!!!
I had to laugh and shake my head in agreement as I read this! I enjoyed it so much I posted a link on my own little blog. Have a beautiful day!
Jen
I love this!!!! Gonna post a link on my FB page, so all my friends can read it!! I can relate to every single word! Been homeschooling for 11 years now, and man, I have wanted to chase down the yellow school bus more times than I can count.. but at the end of the day.. I am so happy that we homeschool
Great post – I really "get" it! I've heard so many of those arguments and feel so judged as a homeschooling mom sometimes (especially when it comes to my kiddos with special needs), even though I try not to judge others for their choices when it comes to educating their children.
I would also love to link to this post from my blog, if I may have your permission!
Thanks! Lisa C. from the Heritage Homestead and Homeschool Academy
http://www.teachthemhisways.blogspot.com
thecoburnzoo4 at yahoo (dot) com
Well said Kris! I loved this post so much I linked to it on my Facebook for my friends (both public and homeschoolers) could read it!
Right on, sister :)
Love this one, Kris!
Number 5 is my favorite, though all your points are very well thought out, and written – thanks!
Oh so true! I wish I could keep copies of this to hand out to the people I meet who are critical! ;)
Soooo well put!! Seriously, you took the words right out of my mouth!! Thanks for posting this….I've linked to it from my blog and on FB.
Let me just add my "THIS IS AWESOME" comment to this string. =)
Loved the post, and comment #28 especially. I was running a teen program at the library and pointed out to a new mom, who had mentioned home schooling, that mot of the kids in the room were homeschooled, "and they aren't weird." Pause to watch them in action. "Okay, they are weird, but it's not because they are homeschooled."
Can we link to you on our blog too? 3tnar.blogspot.com
I love this post! I will be directing my readers to this if you don't mind! :)
I could not have said it any better.
I love this post! Then again so do a lot of other people.
Excellent!
What a great list! I found myself nodding a great deal…Later today, I'll be sending my readers your way too! I have to go drop my kids off at public school first! They're in their last week :)
I love this post, so so so insightful! I tweeted about it yesterday. :)
Awesome!! I'd add that I'm not doing it because I don't want to "get a real job," which is what one relative has suggested more than once.
Yikes, Angela! I haven't heard that one before, although I did once have a relative that suggested that I'd have more time to clean house if my kids were in school. That was one of my personal favorites. And, no, we don't live in a pig sty or anything.
Seriously, I think I should print this off and pass it out to friends, relatives, strangers and maybe even canvass parking lots and place them under windshield wipers…..
About #8: Actually, involving Jesus in my children's day IS the ONLY reason we continue to homeschool. My kids have attended public school, and when I waved goodbye to them as their little selves walked through those doors in the morning, it was wretched knowing for the next 8 HOURS they would not hear their hero's name mentioned once, or be encouraged to talk to him, or even think about him. http://piecelove.wordpress.com/2010/04/12/homeschooling-thoughts/
EXCELLENT POST!
Love this! Excellent post…I can't tell you how many people actually said to me, "You homeschool? But you're not weird!" Funny!
"You must be so patient!" is my least favorite thing to hear from the non-homeschooling public.
I homeschool other peoples kids along with my own. It was just this morning that I stood at the window and watched one of the parents drop off a very difficult student. I felt a twinge of envy at her ability to just drive off and not have to deal with him all day. I know, I know, really she has the harder side cause he is her son. I only have to deal with him for 6 hours. But it doesnt change the fact that yes, indeed, we do sometimes long to have our kids off our hands for a couple of hours.
I don't know.
I firmly believe that my decision to homeschool is inherently offensive to the *outsourcers*. As is that of most other homeschoolers. We are rejecting not only *government* but also *groupthink* and the culture of *experts*.
As I get older and wiser I try to dodge any and all conversational topics that might segue into school/education/kid topics.
Of course religion, politics, the stock market, and the housing market are also all off-limits.
Even the weather, most especially on an unseasonably warm winter day(!), is a prickly subject.
So I'm continually muzzling myself with food and drink at social occasions with the anti-intellectual, anti-socialites.
The myth I'd like most to dispel is that not all homeschoolers are christians.
Me too, Audrey! There are lots of secular homeschoolers (like me) and also lots of Non-Christian religious homeschoolers. It really bugs me that people make assumptions that all homeschoolers are Christian and hold conservative Republican values, because I’m quite the opposite and know lots of folks like me. Actually, the first homeschoolers back in the ’70′s & ’80′s were mostly hippies. See John Holt http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Holt_%28educator%29
I would add one more. Just b/c I'm a "certifed teacher" does not mean I am doing a better job. You could do it too, if you can read. In fact, after more than a decade teaching, it took me a while to shake my conception of "school" and adjust to the concept of "education."
Wonderful list, wish I had written it! Lord knows I was thinking it. :)
Oh my goodness, you made my day with your post! Thanks for sharing.
Wow, love what you said and it was so well written. Thanks for sharing.
What a timely post! Thank you so much for sharing this! I also posted it on Facebook to share as I have several homeschooling friends.
"Globalism" requires brainwashing. Educators are required to take classes on how to lie to parents. Parents need to be warned of what is really going on in today's classrooms more than ever.
– not to be able to meet darkness on its own ground, would be to throw down our weapons & betray our unaware brethren who have, under God, no defense against the intellectual attacks of the wicked. "Good philosophy must exist, if for no other reason, because bad philosophy needs to be answered." – C.S. Lewis
Video clips on Charlotte Iserbyt, former member of the white house dept of education and other info is posted here: http://trueteaching.blogspot.com/
Oh you have to be kidding me.
You've struck a nerve. Thanks for saying what so many of us want to say.
Oh, how happy I would be if I never got asked about socialization! A friend of my husband cornered me at a wedding a while back, and began a manifesto on how you just cannot duplicate or replace the special relationship that children have with each other in public school–passing notes, recess, whatever. Yeah, just because it's irreplaceable doesn't mean it's valuable.
Thank you for putting into words the thoughts that so many of us struggle with. If this article is printed out, passed around, emailed, facebooked… just consider how many lives and hearts you are encouraging. Even if others still do not understand a little more after reading this (and their heads must be closed if that happens), at least you have encouraged scores of us who no longer feel alone. (I can't imagine admitting to "outsiders" that I secretly want to catch the school bus for fear that they will assume that I really do need to give up. But I'm glad you explained it all the way through.) Thank you again. Just imagine all the folks who are reading this and aren't taking the time to send you a thanks… I'm going to guess thousands. Keep up the great work with those kids of yours – surely with such a thinking Mom they're getting some good education.
Well said! I hope more people who don't homeschool read this and get a better understanding.
Jenny http://www.homeschoolblogger.com/frontierfreedom/
Amen sister! Loved this. I public schooled for 6 years and have homeschooled for 13, have heard all these many, many times… but, for me the even more frustrating is family size can't tell you how many times I wanted to say mind your own (*#*# business. But, decided is wasn't the Christian thing to say.
Susie
awesome post!!!
Either change the subject or….go on the offensive.
You send your kids to age-segregated, reality-divorced government school??? Well, what are YOU going to do for *socializatio*? What are YOU going to do for *family*? How are YOU going to acquaint your children with the reality of income-producing *work*?
IMO, there's no reason for homeschoolers to go on the defensive. Why do WE have to answer or justify ourselves to THEM?
Acting defensive is a unwarranted concession that they get to dictate the terms of the debate.
Well said!
WEll said, I have been homeschooling for 11 years and I loved your writng!! Congrats!
Fantastic post!!! :)
BRAVO!!!!! what a great post Kris!!!
I love this! You said everything I would want to say and you did a better job too! My favorite part is "we don't homeschool to annoy you." lol!
Eloquently stated.
We have one at home for school and one in public school. Because it works for our family. As soon as the eldest graduates, the younger one will come home for school.
I can identify COMPETELY!
This is great!! I just linked back to your article.
I love this post! I hear #1 the most. Also, I'm glad I'm not the only one who uses the threat of public school on the not so good days! Well done!
This is a GREAT list. Made me laugh out loud several times because it's all so true!
Oh…. another awesome post Kris… well done!!!
How about the one where people look at you sideways and say…. "your not a teacher?''…..
I hate that one…. it always sounds like the person asking it doesnt think I am smart enough to teach my kids at least to 9th grade….so annoying… oh well..
anyways… thank you for posting this… I am so linking to it!! =)
Oh, my heavens!! You said it! You covered all of it! :) This is THE BEST post I've ever read about why someone homeschools. Wow. I don't blog, but if I did, I would certainly have a link to your post!!!
P.S. I found your blog from a link from a friend's blog. :)
I LOVE it. It's soooo true! LOL! I've only just begun our homeschooling journey, and I can already relate to everything you've said here! :D
I'm a week late but I just linked back to this as well. Loved it! :-D
I'm only just finally getting around to read this, although I had hear a lot of great buzz about it.
I totally agree with this piece. Awesome job with it!
Oh, and like Brenda (comment #61) said, I totally agree about the comments people make just because I have my degrees both in education. My kids aren't necessarily better off for it.
I wish I could have said it as wonderfully as you just did! I totally agree with you on all points:) Thank you for this!
Brilliant post. I think you tapped into the minds of many of us and typed out our thoughts. Bravo!
This is wonderful! And EXACTLY thoughts I've had over and over again and never could quite articulate. For #8, I'd replace the word "christian" with "freethinking" but not another word in the entire post. :)
Great post! I do know a few homeschoolers who are actually just like the misconceptions (think their kids are smarter, do it for religious reasons, sheltering their kids, etc.) but the majority of those I know personally are just regular moms and dads with regular kids who have chosen to homeschool, for whatever reason they saw fit, and their kids are just as outstanding as mine is.
I don't think I could add a thing to that! Perfection!
Now, if we could have a list for those homeschoolers who think that any Christian NOT homeschooling is sinning……….. well, that would be great. I homeschool, but that isn't because EVERYONE on the planet should. You should do what GOD leads YOU to do, and mind your own business about your neighbor.
well said – thank you for sharing!!!
Thanks for crystallizing all this. Great post!
I have fantastic memories of my public education and feel like it really benefitted me. I wanted my daughter to have a similar experience (even the drawbacks are shared drawbacks among other Americans you meet). I like the idea of shared experiences but also want to emphasize that there are better schools with really excellent teachers. I learned something from this post. I'm obviously not in favor of homeschooling my daughter, but my ex-wife has decided to homeschool regardless of what I think. I'm learning to see some of the positives.
Thanks, Ryan. I appreciate your comment. Just as public school parents don't need, or even seek, homeschooling parents' approval, neither do homeschooling parents need or seek the approval of public school parents. However, it is nice when both sides can keep an open mind and realize that, ultimately, it comes down to a parent doing what he or she feels is best for his or her own children. (Though, in your case, I know you're still not sold, but I think it's wonderful that you're keeping an open mind.)
One of the nicest compliments I've ever received, with regards to homeschooling, came from my sister who literally laughed out loud when I told her that I was going to homeschool my kids. Last year, when my niece became school age, my sister asked if I would consider homeschooling her.
While ultimately we decided not to go that route, to know that witnessing my family's homeschooling journey completely changed my sister's mind about homeschooling was one of the nicest compliments I have ever received.
Hearing that you learned a bit about homeschoolers through this post and that you're starting to see the positives ranks right up there with my sister's compliment.
I just wanted to say thanks for a great post – I stumbled on it via a retweet on Twitter. My daughter isn't even old enough to be in school (public or otherwise) yet, but I think your perspective here will definitely stay in my mind as we navigate the school years. I've never considered homeschooling for my own kids, but know several families that do so and I think I understand that choice better now than I did 10 minutes ago. And I thank you for that.
Wow! Thanks, Melissa. Another nice compliment. I appreciate you taking the time to comment.
Excellent post, Kris! Thanks. :)
Awesome!
Hey I just stumbled upon your blog. Great list!!! I would love to link this…
This was wonderful and something I had to share with all I knew (hope you don't mind). You took the words right out of my mouth! I loved it. What about when someone says to you, "I can't home school my kids because they need to go to college."?
@Jessica-you can tell them that colleges and universities are now beginning to recognize the quality education that homeschool kids receive. Many actively seek them. There is a private college near where I live that gives a scholarship of $1000 for every year that a student was homeschooled, so from k-12, you'd get a $12K scholarship!
About the "patience" thing – I always reply with something like "Oh, well I'm just different like this: I don't have the patience to deal with bad teachers, poor administration, rigid teaching methods, lockstep learning, a lack of discipline, bullies, drugs, peer pressure, fighting homework battles and missing out on family time." We all choose our battles and I happen to think my choices make for a stronger, more stable, family life, a more effective education and a healthier environment to raise my kids. If you can say the same about your public school experience, good for you too!
I disagree that homeschooling is not for everyone. Well, I guess there *might* be other alternatives, but none come to mind..
But, I defy you to read this article, and tell me that there is anyone that should leave their children in public school:
http://trueteaching.blogspot.com/2009/10/un-neighborly-neighbor.html
I did not write it, but I agree with it entirely.
That was an excellent article, and so very true. As homeschoolers for well over a decade, our biggest criticisms come not from public school parents – but from other homeschoolers!
In the same day I have been told we are "too religious" and "not religious enough." Because we use eclectic curriculum and choose what we think is best, so some is secular and some is Christian.
In the same day I have been critized for not being modest because my daughters had pants on (at the park where they were swinging on monkey bars) and because we don't wear shorts or tank tops when it was hot out, so we are "too modest."
In the many years we have been homeschooling, I have seen the general population become much more supportive and accepting – now if only the homeschooling community could quit judging each other.
My observations as well – thanks…
Mozi Esmes Mom recently posted..In the Hands of a Child Sale
now if only the homeschooling community could quit judging each other.
**
I think it would be great if the entire world could quit judging each other.
Taunya R recently posted..Cleaning House by Kay Wills Wyma {Review}
Thanks for articulating many ideas I've heard over and over, but never all in one place. In the last 4 years we went from not even considering homeschooling (just not even on our radar), to doing it with all our kids for the foreseeable future. This is the kind of info that helped open us up to the idea–I hope it can do the same for others.
Our first and foremost reason for homeschooling (that I tell anyone who asks) is having more time together. With schools going to longer and longer extended days, I realized we'd feel like we never saw our kids and would have very little idea what they were doing all day. Usually since I don't start out with arguments about "socialization," religious reasons, or the other most common reasons people *think* others homeschool (though some of those do play into our decision as well), it is enough of a surprise to start more of a real conversation that's not based on myths and stereotypes.
Love. This. Post. :)
I got the link to this blog from Facebook. It gave me a nice Tuesday morning chuckle. And one thing homeschooling parents need is a sense of humor!
Amen, sister. So much of this resonated with me. I was just having the "just because I homeschool and am religious does not mean I'm a religious homeschooler" conversation. And the patience thing. I've always said, "patience is a virtue, but not one I possess." =D
GREAT POST! Well stated!
I enjoyed your list. I would like to add that Homeschool families are just as diverse as public school families. There are Wiccan, Pagan, Atheist and Christian Homeschoolers. There are rich, middle class and poor homeschoolers. There are White, Black, Hispanic, Indian, and Native American homeschoolers. Also our reasons for homeschooling are as varied as we are.
I think one of the biggest misconceptions the general public has is that homeschoolers all believe the same thing (mostly that homeschoolers are all fundamentalist Christians).
I know this is a late comment, but my own address of a misconception comes from being the parent of a child born with special needs.
#12 Just because my child has special needs does not mean they have to go to a special public school program. I am plenty qualified to handle her learning and absolutely the best person to know how she is going to learn best. She needs to learn all the same stuff any other kid will learn, but at a slower pace. Please try not to judge me as incompetent just because my child has special needs.
Love it! I'm stopping by from Top Ten Tuesday today and found this post from your links of Top Ten favorite posts.
I love how you explain everything without offending anyone from either side. It's so true. I'm was homeschooled and hadn't actually planned on homeschooling my children. But then, Kindergarten rolled around for our first daughter last year and we decided to go for it. I still laugh at people's reactions when I say I homeschool. Sometimes they ask if that's even possible. Or legal. Or how am I DOING IT???? It's a fun conversation starter that's for sure.
I loved this post. I agree with all of it. Thank you for writing it! I am now following you and I can't wait to read more of your posts.
WriterRani
http://www.indoorgardenmusings.blogspot.com
I love this post! I would be so happy if people would realize that I did not keep my children home to annoy them, or because I don't think teachers are good enough, or any of the other crazy things people say. I chose to keep them home because I can, because I love them, because I can't imagine what I'd do all day without them, and because the system is flawed.
Love love love this list.
Unfortunately, I know many homeschoolers who insist homeschooling is the ONLY Christian choice. (They complain of judgmentalism from others, but I've never experienced it so strongly as within the homeschooling circle – and I am FOR homeschooling!)
So I really appreciate posts like this that present a more balanced picture of homeschoolers.
This is perfect! I am always having trouble with #1. Just the other day I was out with my cousin (whose kids are in public school). Another Mom came up and was talking and then my cousin said that I homeschooled. The lady's jaw hit the floor. She went on and on about how I must have so much patience. I told her that I really didn't have any patience and my cousin quickly added, "Seriously, Jenny has no patience at all!" LOLOL!
I love this post!! I could not have said it better myself and on occasion have said exactly the same things over the last 8 years.
Thank you for taking the time to read my mind and share.
That number 11 really rings true for me. I chose to study to teach high school Technical Drawing and Maths because I didn't have the passion to be with pre-schoolers all day. So I really want to laugh when people say "Oh, so you are a qualified teacher, no wonder you have chosen to homeschool your 3 and 5 year olds"!
As a homeschooling mom, I have to admit that I do feel a little judgemental that more people are not boycotting the shattered public school monopoly. I'm not refering to individuals that I know, necessarily, but I wish more parents would have some back bone and quit trying to shore up the failed public school infrastructure with bubble gum and bailing wire. Our kids are at stake. Our future and theirs is at stake. The next generation of voters is being uneducated and brainwashed by the single view, mandated voice of the gov't school system. It is not about the quality or passion of most teachers. Good teachers don't stand a chance in the current system. But our kids are the victims. After having tried all three, private, public and homeschooling, I've come to the conclusion that I can't do any worse than the public school is doing, and probably considerably better because I genuinely care, not just about their grades, but about my children's future.
Love this. I once read a blog post stating "Why we don't homeschool"…I read most of it without feeling the need to defend myself…until I read the part that stated that "most people homeschool out of fear and fear is not of the Lord"…that one has stuck with me and I have often wondered if I should have said something. I didn't because I feel this can be a huge issue of contention and I don't want to contribute to it. But I thought "if this lady only knew what my fears really were…my fears of not doing this well or failing my children FAR outweigh any fear I have ever felt about public school!"
Thanks for sharing this. :-)
Amen. Thank you, for articulating this so perfectly.
A very heartfelt thank you! I feel like making several copies and just handing them to people. We chose to homeschool when one of our children was held back from her potential. Not gifted just held back and bored. Another child needs special attention and withdrawn in public school. With homeschool she now self advocates and is smiling all the time. Just started my 5 yr old in homeschool and she loves it! (mostly because her p.e. class is horseback riding but oh well.) I had someone that said, "I hear that homeschooled kids turn out weird." All I could do was laugh and reply, "My kids were born weird thank God! I don't want them to be cookie cutter copies of everyone else!"
Thanks again!
I love this article! I have found when I am verbally supportive of other people and their choices for their children, most of them respond by supporting me and my choices for my children. When I first began homeschooling I was very defensive in my conversations about it, and in response others became defensive or downright offensive. Over the years I have honed my "oh, you homeschool?" conversation to include most of the points you raised. Now I have a few more to use!
Great post! I think your thoughts were articulated very well. I get the comment about oh well you're a teacher so you can teach your kids. In addition you must have so much patience with three boys I don't know how you do it. I will check out the other posts as well.
As a parent who homeschooled his kids and as a teacher in the public schools, I LOVE this article. I know what it is like there.
I have been told, "Oh, I wish I had the luxury to home school." I must have missed that in the "Home school 101" class I took before I started 14 years ago.
How about this one: Just because I can't drop everything and go shopping with you this afternoon doesn't mean I don't want/need your friendship.
Thank you for posting this. It is so well-said! I am going to link this on my blog. Great site.
What a fantastic list! We don't even have kids yet, but are planning to homeschool when the time comes.
We have a LOT of public school teachers in the family, and most seem to take our dream of homeschooling as a personal affront to their occupation.
Sorry, I just don't believe public schooling is the best way to get a solid education. I grew up in public schools, and I'm keenly aware of their faults in both social and educational arenas. That doesn't mean I think teachers are bad, just that the system is broken.
I love this, and I couldn't agree more!
Love this list!! I am definitely sharing it with family and friends. I usually receive support but a lot of times it's support with a "but."
Sigh… I hate that "but."
Yes! What a post! Thanks so much!
"You just took the words right out of my mouth!"…or so it seems. Bet many other homeschool parents are thinking the same thing. So thanks for being our representative voice! : )
Great list! Thank you! I really needed to read this because many times I think, "Am I the only one who feels this way?" Oh, and I really enjoyed #11. I get that all the time. Even more, with my hubby being a school principal, we get lots of unusual comments from both homeschoolers AND non-homeschoolers alike! Thank you!
I really needed that. I am not sure how I even came across this. Thank you!
Thanks so much for this post! I have heard #1 a hundred times, and I always wonder why people feel the need to instantly tell me why they DON'T homeschool when I tell them we do! :)
I love this post! I've shared a link to it with my friends on Facebook, many of which homeschool, most of which do not. My son has the same t-shirt that's on your kids at the top of your blog. It gets a lot of laughs. Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Let me add to the chorus of "I LOVE IT!"s.
I was actually wondering if I could have your permission to reprint this on my blog, Winters' Day In?
@Scrapnqueen: Thanks so much. I'm so flattered that so many people have enjoyed this post. I would be honored if you'd like to include a snippet from the post on your blog, with a link back to read the entire post. However, I would prefer not to have the entire post reprinted.
I sincerely appreciate you asking first. I've found it reprinted without permission in a couple of places lately and have had to ask that it be removed.
Thanks!
Thanks so much, Kris. I will send you a link once I have the post up (it will be a few days, yet.)
Have a wonderful weekend!
Well said. As a home school mom for more than 12 years I have had people seem defensive over the smallest thing just because I home school. You addressed so many of the misconceptions people have about our motives and judgments of those who don't choose the same path.
Love this list! Just found it from your front page. Very well done! I wrote a post all about #7 once (Things I Can't Get Homeschoolers to Admit: Not Everybody Should Homeschool), mostly because I got tired of hearing all the "excuses" from people saying they could never homeschool. If they don't think they can, I certainly wouldn't be the one to tell them they should! ;-)
I love this list. I feel like you had to have been a fly on the wall in Pennsylvania for about 8 out of 10 of your list. Thanks for posting.
Yes!! Amen! So well said.
http://www.handfulofellers.blogspot.com
Hi, Kris! I finally posted this. Thanks, again!
Straight Talk
We are waiting any day for the arrival of our first child. we have already done our digging and searching on what it means to homeschool and we are very firm in our decisoin to do so. its only been a few month ssince weve started mentioning it when its came into conversation and it seems like ALL types of people come out of the woodwork to tell you what a "mistake" you are making. espcially since we go to a larger sized church. I loved reading this post and Im glad to have something to refer to from somoene who has been doing it for so long, my only question is how pricy is the material? my husband just got a job at the church and we are so glad to have it with this economy but we have been married for a few weeks shy of a year so we are just starting out and our financial situation is not what we hope it will be forever and i know we have time before we start homeschooling but im almost worried when i look at everything that is needed to homeschool.
This was so insanely accurate! Thank you for posting this! And if you hadn't added #11, I would have added it in my comment! As a former teacher, I answer that question from potential homeschooling moms with, "Well, I DO have a degree in Elementary Education, BUT you don't have to have one." I also add that my mom homeschooled me without one! (Yep, my kids are 2nd generation homeschoolers! While I myself wasn't homeschool k-12, it looks as if mine will be!)
I absolutely enjoyed this! Love how you summed up all these common issues and misconceptions.
And I feel a bit relieved whenever I come across another sensible homeschooling family, because there certainly seem to be plenty of fanatical (and downright bizarre) homeschool families that don't contribute positively to our collective PR!
That last line in your comment really amused me. I've met some of them. ;-)
Great post. I would also add to #4, that those of us with learning disabilities choose to homeschool because the system does not always address their needs. My son has issues but was labeled "not serious enough" to need an IEP despite a diagnosis and struggling in the classroom. After much frustration, we went to a children's medical center and had a neurological evaluation done on our own because we could never get the school to do one, despite him being in their early intervention program. We decided that homeschooling would minimize some of the symptoms he has. It has been a struggle, and we have had lots of stress and tears, but we have no doubt this is the best course for him right now.
i have just decided to home school my eldest child going into the 1st grade. After much time in prayer, asking questions, deciding that i am not fit to home school and doing it all over again the next day i believe my husband and i have finally come to a decision. thank you for this post.
How exciting! Best wishes for a great first year! Your son is at such a fun
age. There are so many things for you to learn and explore together. Have
fun!
so good! it's like you're in my head :)
Me too…Could I use this on my blog?
You're welcome to link to it and include a small excerpt. I would ask that you not reprint the post in its entirety on your own blog. Thanks for asking!
I love the honesty! "the tears and whining before breakfast" is an all too familiar routine for us! My kids used to be in a private school and the homework I did with them was every bit as hard or worse than what I do with my kids now! At least now I can pick which work is worth crying about and not some silly busywork a teacher assigned. My kids will complain about work anyway- it might as well be about something worthwhile!
Thanks for a light hearted look at a subject that can get some people's (PS and HS) blood boiling. I especially liked #3.
Hi. Very nice post! Like you I am a certified teacher. I have just moved permanently back to Indonesia. I have to say I can't handle the school system Internationally. Goes for International or National private/public schools. Like you I have no grudges about the teachers teaching in them. But I see flaws in the system that are hurting my kids. I want to take control. I think Homeschool is the answer. So I have 1 major question for you: do I have to order and pay for a specific curriculum or can I just follow a curriculum that I already have and know by years of teaching? Thanks.
Hello. Thank you for your comment. First, I want to clarify that *I* am not a certified teacher. The final addition to my list was supplied by a reader who is a certified teacher. As far as curriculum, typically, you choose whatever curriculum you want to use. However, I have no idea what the laws governing homeschooling are in Indonesia. I would encourage you to investigate that before making any decisions. Hope that helps.
I am so happy to stumble across your blog today. You hit the nail on the head. Thanks so much — I needed this today :)
Has anyone ever told you that they couldn't afford to homeschool because they can't afford to live on one income?
Not that I recall. Not all homeschooling families are single-income families, though the vast majority are. Being a dual-income homeschooling family takes a little more work, but I know several homeschooling families who do make it work.
I love this!
This is great!!
Not all homeschoolers are Christians, either :)
Where can we get a superpower tshirt? M
thank-you :o)
Click the "Shop t-shirts and gifts for homeschool chicks" button under the "thanks to our sponsors" tab in the right sidebar.
Can I post this on my blog – linking to your site and listing you for credit? This is AWESOME! In fact, I have a friend (who homeschools) coming over this afternoon for my help/support because she's ready to throw in the towel. I'm going to have her read this – I think it will help!
Serena
Thanks for asking, Sarena. I'm so flattered that so many people have enjoyed this post. I would be honored if you'd like to include a snippet from the post on your blog, with a link back to read the entire post. However, I would prefer not to have the entire post reprinted.
I sincerely appreciate you asking first. I've found it reprinted without permission in several places lately and have had to ask that it be removed.
Nicely put! :)
Thanks Kris for getting back to me! I linked to your post and provided a snippet – I would definitely love for all my friends and family to read it – I think it is a great post for non-homeschooler and homeschoolers alike! Here's the link to my post: http://www.survivingmadness.com/2011/11/link-public-school-parents-guide-to.html
I'm sorry others have posted it without permission – I definitely understand the importance of getting permission to post stuff (which I always do).
Thanks for writing such a brilliant post!
-Serena
WOW your post is absolutely fabulous and so refreshing specially after I've already filled out the boys applications for a school !!!! after all I've decided that I'm not quiet done with homeschooling though .. (the applications are still there but never sent them) *smile*
yep that would've been me !!! <3
As a Homeschooling mom for 5 yrs, I would disagree with #'s 5 and 7. While I personally agree with them, I have quite a few homeschooling friends and acquaintances who believe strongly that the Bible teaches parents are to teach their children, period. They do not put their kids in Sunday School either. So they do believe that everyone who does not homeschool is disobeying God. It makes things more than a little awkward that I am taking this homeschooling thing one year at a time. I am fully aware that if I ever chose to stop homeschooling, I would face judgement from both friends and family.
Word… :)
Mozi Esmes Mom recently posted..In the Hands of a Child Sale
I know some of those people and I think they are just as wrong as the people who think that *nobody* should be homeschooling. God doesn't call us all to the same things and I don't think it's right to think that He does. It's not our jobs to be someone else's Holy Spirit. I should point out, though, that I noted that this list was *my* list. I'm certainly not stepping up to speak for *all* homeschooling families because we're all so varied and different. You have to do what is right for your family, whether that means public school, private school, or homeschool, and that's really nobody else's business.
I'm so glad someone reposted this on FB yesterday….really needed to read it again. Love & relate to this entire post but especially #2. I've been in a mental slump & really needed a positive laugh to get me rebooted. Thanks again! ;-)
I enjoyed this very much – thank you! Another HUGE misconception is that children with Dyslexia can never read as well as other children. This breaks my heart to hear, every time. I have 3 kiddos w/dyslexia and my oldest is reading above grade level w/above grade level comprehension skills. Yes, it takes more work, effort and time – but who would say that it wasn't worth it to have a strong reader?! Seriously! My second dyslexic is currently AT grade level. Any my third dyslexic is only in second grade and has other issues along w/dyslexia that he has to concur first. IT IS WORTH YOUR TIME AND EFFORT! It truly is. Whether you homeschool, public school or private school – it will take effort, time, tears, and strength on your end as well. Don't give up!!
I love this list. It's so true that people think we are weird because we homeschool…I love it when I get "what about socialization?" Apparently those people have never met my kid…
A friend just sent me a link to this post and I am so grateful. You have hit the nail on the head with EVERY point. WELL DONE!!!
I have a few questions. I am very interested in homeschooling my child. Her name is Abigail and she a 15 year old Sophomore in public high school. So i do not need any degree to homeschool my child? Can i pull her out of high school even though there are only two months of the school year left? Where do I start? That is my biggest question. Thank you so much!
The laws vary from state to state, Tracey. Typically, you just need a high school diploma and, generally, you can pull a child out of school at any time. You usually have to file a notice of intent to homeschool with the local school board. The main thing with getting started is finding out and following your state's laws. I provided a link for that, as well as other helpful tips, in this post: http://www.weirdunsocializedhomeschoolers.com/2012/03/10-tips-for-starting-to-homeschool.html
Hope that helps!
I LOVE this and can Totally relate to it. Loved the part about chasing down the school bus and the kids knowing how far you are from the P-school. I have so many times said I am going to send them and it is just a block if that away! hahaha. Thanks for making me feel better and know I am not the only one who thinks these things. I REALLY needed that. :o)
And Ps, I so want to know where you got the homeschooling shirt you are wearing in the above pic… Love it!
It's from the Homeschool Chick – http://www.thehomeschoolchick.com/ Isn't it great?
wow I could have written most of this
This is hilarious! I love it. What a great gift to communicate thoughts so clearly. I always feel paranoid at church that people think we are wackos for not wanting to be "salt n light" in the school system. They have told me that they are paranoid that we think they are terrible parents for not going the home school route. Would love to see more unity within the body on this on so much more. Light hearted articles like this help close the gap. Thanks!
I agree that more unity would be wonderful!
LOVE love love this!!! Nodding my head in agreement to all of these! :)
I have been asked, "Aren't you concerned your children will turn out weird because you homeschool them?" That makes me laugh. What I want is for my children to be who God intended them to be. That means embracing their quirks, strengths and weaknesses and using them to the glory of God. I think placing children in groups, separated by age, only encourages them to subdue their quirks and blend in as much as possible. So, no, I am not at all concerned that my children will turn out weird, I am grateful that homeschooling will allow them to be themselves.
Thank you so much for this post. I’ve had a blog topic spinning in my head for weeks now and I’ve been googling various sub-topics and this popped up. I’m a certified teacher at a public online charter school, my kids go to public school AND we homeschool. I’m not saying that we do school 2 times in a day but the way we run our day to day life we are learning all the time. We have table time and family field trips and sometimes (when we feel like it) we study one theme intensified for weeks. My 4 and 5 year old have reading skills that are off the charts because we read everything ALL THE TIME. We turn snack time into math lessons and my husband is amazing at creating opportunities for learning math, science and social studies content in our daily lives. Our kids go to school…I work full time…I’m a full time stay at home working homeschooling public school Mom. Thanks for this post.
Mariah, I love this! Recently wrote a post about how, in my view, public school and homeschool are NOT mutually exclusive. I also work full time – my kiddo has been in preschool/day care with a family friend and will be starting public school this fall. But we most definitely homeschool. Everything can be a learning opportunity, as you’ve described. My 5yo is better versed than many adults (and I daresay some of her teachers) will be in a variety of subjects. We play history and Bible and science audios in the car and as she falls asleep at night; we read a lot, play a lot, explore a lot, and just have a grand time with learning. Public school is just a sideline thing (with a few more educational opportunities) that keeps her occupied 30 hours a week… :)
Mozi Esmes Mom recently posted..In the Hands of a Child Sale
Thank you! I’m about to enter this new, exciting world with a couple of our children and this was a boost to me.
Best wishes on your first year of homeschooling!
Great article! Guess I always had the misconception that there’s no socialization skills with homeschooling. There are some people I’m affiliated with that do what they call world schooling. Pretty cool. If they are studying the Egyptian pyramids they take them to see them. Have taken my son on some great trips, but not in the position to world school at this time. Single mom and struggling! Loved the info though!
World schooling would be awesome! Wish I could afford to do that. I think of how much I would learn.
Love this Kris! Well said! I am also right there with you about having patience. Yes, if I can homeschool my children, then you most definitely can homeschool yours. I have no patience what so ever! :)
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I am a public school mom. We are also Christians. What this post doesn’t articulate is the effect on community. We have made it clear to our children (6th grade, 3rd grade, 1st grade) that going to school is not all about academics. It is about learning how to love and appreciate people who are vastly different than you are. It’s about recognizing that all people are made in God’s image and therefore have worth. The schools in our area are very diverse, racially and socioeconomically. Both my husband and myself are extremely active at their schools. I am up there several times a week; we eat lunch with them at school; we read in their classrooms. And in doing those things, I love on kids who are not my own. I touch their faces, ask how they’re doing, tell them they’re doing great at school. I encourage and support teachers (most of them also Christians who are living out their faith in service to the most vulnerable). We pray for them regularly. My children know that when one of their classmates are hurting (or sick, or sad, etc) we will pray for them as a family. I ask you, what happens to the greater community when Christian families pull out of places like this? What happens when our children don’t know how to let their lights shine because they’re always in the light. I’m all about being excited for choices and options in education, and if there are needs that are not met in one arena of education, I’m so SO glad that homeschooling is an option. The thing about homeschooling that concerns me is that the percentage of homeschooling families seems heavily skewed to be faithful Christians…and the world needs those families to be involved in the community at large, not just in Christian community.
I’ll also tell you that the feeling of judgement goes both ways. I have felt the “you-must-not-love-your-children-very-much-if-you-want-to-be-away-from-them-all-day” from what I call ‘militant’ homeschool moms before. I’ve even had one mom tell me that homeschooling was the biblical model and suggested that I was going against the bible by sending my kids to public school where they would pick up “negative” influences. Addressing negative things in the context of a secure, loving, and God-fearing family is not something to shy away from. There’s also the assumption that those families who’s kids go to public school ‘don’t educate their kids in the home’. I think you said it here in your post at the end of #4. Our kids are educated at home AND they’re educated at school. Assuming that folks who send their kids to school are farming out their educational responsibility is just as false as assuming folks who homeschool don’t vaccinate their children.
Most of my homeschooling friends do it for all of the reasons listed here. It’s always about ‘what’s best for our family.” What I’m wishing is that ‘our family’ isn’t all we were concerned about. Their are other families out there who NEED your family. I wish just half of the people who homeschool would consider engaging again in the public school arena. Not because it’s better. It may very well not be. But because we need you. And I worry it won’t ever get better without you. You have valuable skills and gifts. These aren’t just valuable to your children, but to countless others who may not have parents as gifted as you are. They may not have parents who pray for them, who minister to them.
Thanks for your thoughtful post. I know perspective is always a good thing. I hope you receive mine in the manner it was written.
I am thankful that there are parents out there like you who are in the school, loving on those kids, and being a light. I think that is very important. But, I do think it comes down to a personal choice. My children — my oldest two, at least — would have had problems in a public school setting due to their learning challenges. I don’t think that I would be a responsible parent if I sacrificed them for the greater good, as it were.
There are ways for us to be involved in the community apart from public school and homeschooled kids can learn to love and care for others who are vastly different from them outside of a public school classroom. I, personally, don’t feel that children, for the most part, were called to be a light. I think that’s putting a lot of responsibility on young shoulders that wasn’t intended to be there before they are grounded in their faith. That’s not to say that they can’t be a light — because great many of them are — but I don’t think they’re shirking their responsibility as young Christians by not being in a public school setting.
I think that we each, as parents, have a responsibility to do what God has called us to do, as far as raising our children. For you, that obviously means a public school route. For me, that has been homeschooling. If God called us all to the same path, what a boring world it would be. I think His ultimate goal is to reach people with the message of salvation, but that’s going to look different for each of us. I don’t think you should look at is as homeschooling families harming the community by not having their kids in public school, but, perhaps ask yourself, what is God calling these families to do for Him on the path that He has directed for them? I don’t think He’s called us to do anything detrimental, just different.
Finally, I do realize that you are educating your kids at home. I just meant that home is not their primary source for academic learning. Please, don’t read more into the wording than what was truly there and take offense. That was not my intention.
The problem is…this presupposes that we aren’t in the community. That we are in a closet somewhere, sheltered and duct-taped to avoid humanity.
My children are active in dance, active in Boy Scouts, active in local activities such as drama or swim team at the local high school. They’ve done Girl Scouts, youth group, homeschool co-ops, skate nights, library storytimes…I can go on and on.
What my children are NOT doing is “through the hoops to get the grade”. We give to our community, what we aren’t doing is wasting our energy on public schools, we provide it directly and in a way that is meaningful to us and our community.
Wonderful post!
Seriously, I could have written this. I tell people, “When God was handing out patience, He obviously skipped me.” :D Another favorite is, “We would never homeschool if I had to teach………….” LOL!
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I really wish #5 (perhaps in conjunction with #8) were true of more homeschoolers. Thank YOU for stating it. At least in my experience, there are many very vocal homeschoolers who would indeed differ on #5 & 8, and a few I know who wouldn’t dare state differently for fear of condemnation from the rest. Maybe you’ll give them the courage.
Mozi Esmes Mom recently posted..In the Hands of a Child Sale
So glad I’m not the only one who has thought about chasing that bus down the street and wondering what a whole day alone would be like…other than quiet!
As someone who was homeschooled, i loved being able to take things at my own pace. I was able to grasp concepts I struggled with. My boys will be in public school though. It has nothing to do with patience, i just think it would be better for them. I think it is awesome that you do.
I homeschooled both of my boys for many years before sending them to public school and plan to homeschool my daughter when she’s ready. I love homeschooling because I get to spend more time with my children. We felt blessed to be able to build a strong foundation of our values while just enjoying them — and yes, there were tears and trials at times. Your list is quite good, but I will have to quibble with #5/#9. I agree that there are MANY homeschooling families that can hold the idea that homeschooling is right for their families but not for others. However, there is also a very vocal religious group that makes it clear that sending a child into a public school is like sending them to the devil’s playground (and therefore not sheltering them enough). :) You can even find a couple of them in the comments on this article.
http://shaungroves.com/2012/08/a-message-to-the-world-one-reason-we-homeschool/
It is easy when you have made a decision you are so passionate about to forget that others may be led down different roads — and that it’s okay! Great list, though! I agree with so many of your points!
Having taught in both public and private schools, this is exactly what I would have said. I’m finishing my first week of homeschooling my 12yr old, and after going through many homeschool sites and forums, this is the first post that I can relate to. Thanks!
I am absolutely certain that this is just MY experience and so I do not intend this to come across as a comment about all homeschooling parents, but the few homeschooling families I know surely make #4 and 5 above to be inaccurate. They never miss an opportunity to jump into a conversation about some current event or matter occurring in a local public or Catholic school, and state, “Oh, that’s why WE homeschool OUR kids.” The emphasis is always meant to indicate that those involved in the discussion who do not homeschool their kids must not care about their children as much as they do. They make it a point to emphasize that they have made a wiser choice and that non-homeschoolers just don’t get it. It comes across as being very elitist. I’ve had it come up during Diocesan courses, at religious functions, in private conversations and at work. It frustrates me because I know it’s not true as this blog post so clearly states, and because it continues to paint a bad picture and perpetuate myths about homeschooling parents. (By the way, I’ve always found their children to be “normal,” respectful, and yet just “kids” at the same time!!!) Thanks for letting me “vent” here! Nice post.
Yeah, there’s one in every crowd, right? It’s not all of us. Really. :)
#10- We don’t homeschool to annoy you.
I’d like to tell people this one especially- and tack on this for myself:
“I’m pretty sure I can annoy you without having to bring up homeschooling at all!”
I love this- you put it so very nicely into words, nice words- what I’ve been stumbling to articulate for years! Thanks!
Hi Kris – I agree with everything except #8 – not all homeschoolers are christian (although based on the material out there, it would be an obvious assumption). We don’t homeschool for religious reasons, as we are not christians.
However, I must say, your article was right on and well written. thank you!
My wife home schooled our youngest daughter in her junior year in high school. A job move to an area without a Christian School was the reason. At that point my wife who had 26 years in the classroom was shocked at the amount of preparation and discipline necessary to stay on schedule and subject matter. There was an umbrella school which we participated and they required lesson plans, attendance and time spent at the umbrella school. They provided drama, field trips, tutoring (by rocket scientists) in math, chemistry and physics. It was a great experience for all. The following year our daughter returned to her old high school for her senior year, we moved and my wife returned to the class room. A good time was had by all.
I might add that one of her classes, Home Economics was a great life learning experience for our daughter. She was responsible for making up the menus for M – F supper, cooking said meals and doing all of the grocery shopping. We went to the store as a family, I was the designated check writer, she purchased all of the groceries for the week. She learned budgeting, making a list and couponing. Fast forward almost 20 years she has a family with 2 elementary children. She is an expert shopper using some of the skills she learned during that year of HS. Sometimes I feel like letting her do our grocery shopping and bank the savings.
Great article and it’s nice it’s still active. My husband taught public high school for 17 years and got so sick of it (figuratively and literally) that we decided not to continue educating our own kids that way when our oldest reached high school. He will be starting his third year of home schooling them and we have had our share of joys and challenges. Two comments: 1.) I still work in the public school and this month we were literally told that we are now expected to raise the children who come to the school as students. (2.) It’s so hard to “socialize” with family who violently disagree with our education decisions because “challenges” are seen as confirmation that we are wrong and “joys” are seen as trying to convince them. SO, we just keep inviting them to our daughter’s orchestra concerts and our son’s Boy Scout honor courts, etc., in the hope that they will one day see that they are really turning out ok.
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This article is very well written and seems sincere, but from MY experience with many homeschool families….it’s a different tale. Actually, the people who have hurt me (and my children) the most have been the most “self-righteous” homeschool families I know. My best friend of 20+ years informed me a few years ago after she decided to start homeschooling that, I quote, “she would prefer if my children and her children didn’t spend time together anymore because my children go to public school” Our children had been together since they were born! The oldest were already in the 6th grade. My kids just didn’t understand what they had done wrong. I have been told by another homeschool mom that “when I get my heart right with God, He will show me how to love my children…and then I would never put them back in school again”. And there were more comments. My older children absolutely thrived in public school. Now, I have a few younger ones that are just starting, and I have been praying for over a year about homeschooling them, but I would need support….outside support beyond my husband….and I just don’t think that exsists…at least where I live. But…still thinking about it….
I’m so sorry that you’ve had some bad experiences with homeschoolers. Honestly, we’re not all like that and we don’t all feel that way. Most of us are just normal folks doing what we feel is the best for our kids. (((Hugs)))
I am not a fan of home schooling for me – my friend and I agree there is a reason kids go to school and it has nothing to do with education. As a side note I also agree there are people out there that do not do a good job of home schooling. A family member “home schools” their 4 children and it is like nothing I have seen before. They don’t do any work or lessons on a daily basis. They just hang out and go out and do whatever they please. When they become teens she has said it is time to start preparing for GED and left it up to them to do the work. Their youngest is 5 and he doesn’t know how to count, spell or do anything yet. She assumes he will just “pick it up”. Are you kidding me?
Francine, I can think of no purpose to send a child (or adult) to school beyond education. Perhaps you are trying to develop the idea that time with a different community has myriad benefits that, added together, are more valuable than learning? But without stating or supporting that idea, I cannot relate to your assertion that there is a reason to GO that is valid.
You and I both agree that some families fail to show academic dedication. This is equally true about those parents who will not help their kids succeed in public school and those parents who do not home educate with purpose. But policy and familiy decisions should be made on the full balance of information, not just bad and failed examples.
As a public school teacher for 23 years, I really appreciate and enjoyed reading your article. I just wish public school wouldn’t be put out there as a “threat” to your kiddos.
Thank you. I’m glad you enjoyed the article. I understand what you’re saying about using public school as a “threat.” I really do. However, returning (or going for the first time) to such a drastically different lifestyle and schedule is as much a threat to them as returning to a 9-5 office environment would be to me. It’s not an insult to the institution itself as much as it is a commentary on the fact that we love the freedom of our current lifestyle.
I read this and I was left asking, “why do you homeschool?” I don’t mean it in a negative way, I understand all the points you made but I guess I would like to hear the reasons why you do it not just a defending of what others say.
This post wasn’t actually intended as a defense of homeschooling, but rather a response to so many of the misconceptions of homeschooling families that I hear. You can check out my FAQ page for answers to many other questions, including why we homeschool.
I came to this post from a Facebook link. It is such a balanced look at homeschooling and choices. We did not homeschool until our youngest was in high school, and we regret in hindsight that we had not done it sooner with both of our children. As you say, homeschooling is not for everybody; but with individual needs and concerns and the growing and sometimes insidious assaults on faith and values in our society as a whole, it seems prudent to at least consider the environment in which we place our children. With permission, I would like to post a link to this article on my Facebook page.
Hi Kris. I truly enjoyed reading your post. I have a few homeschooling friends and I have always respected them for it and thought it was a neat option for many. However, I do think I am one of those who has said that I don’t have the patience and no one could convince me otherwise. I have a general idea of the patience level (in this arena) it would take to teach children day in and day out, whether your own or others inside or outside of the home. You may say your level is the same as any parents but I get the feeling you do a pretty darn good job and I doubt you are giving yourself enough credit for your abilities. I don’t think of them as “superpowers”, just a willing and nurtured skill. I have some of those of my own (but its not teaching kids). Anyway, I guess I just want you all to know there are a great number of us who respect and appreciate what you do and when we say we wouldn’t have the patience, its kind of a valid statement, meant as a compliment, kind of like when someone feels they wouldn’t do well with more than two children so they choose not to have that third but they have respect for those who DO choose to have more and appear to be balancing it quite well. That’s all I wanted to say. Keep it up. I love it when ppl put their heart into something they believe in!
Something I would add to the list is that public school is NOT always the best option for children with special needs. Parents are capable of teaching their kids who have SN, oftentimes with better results than are obtained in public school.
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Loved this post! Such great points. I am not a homeschooling mom, but I was a homeschooled kid. I can relate to so many of your points, and I really like point number 5. Choosing how your child will be taught is a personal decision. Love it!
As a teacher in a private school, I am curious why you threaten your children with going to public school. It creates a negative view of public school. What would happen if God told you I want you to put your children in public school next year. I know a lot of parents who homeschool, public school, private school, the private/homeschool and it really is about what is best for your family. Do you think by using it as a threat you are creating a negative view of parents who do send their children to public school.
No, I probably shouldn’t threaten my kids with sending them to school, but the fact is, it is a threat, though probably not in the way you’re thinking. It’s a threat to them just as much as returning to a 9 to 5 office job would be for me. Public school is such a drastic difference from the lifestyle we live and love. That is the threat — the early mornings, the hours of homework, the lack of freedom to explore subjects that interest us, the adherence to a strict schedule. I don’t think I’m creating a negative view of public school itself or the parents who send their kids to school. I have told my kids that there is a lot about school that they probably would enjoy. My youngest, in particular, would enjoy the social aspect and would do well academically. It’s the giving up of a lifestyle that we love that is the threat, not school itself.
I understand where you coming from about the lifestyle change but I still disagree with you about it not giving public school a bad view. You do have to certain things, not all school schedule are strict, you do to explore subjects that are interesting to you. I had awesome history teachers and geography teacher in middle school and high school that gave me a love for history and other cultures. Public school can have interesting subjects. I support what your choice for your family. I support a lot of families at church who choose to homeschool and their families are amazing. I tell them the same thing when they threaten their children with public school when they are taking too long with math homework. I just don’t want children or teens to have a negative view of public school.
Thank you for sharing your opinion.
Kris, not only do we share names, but I think we may have been identical twins separated a birth. I have 4 that i home/cyber school and agree with you on all points. The choice to cyber is one that comes under scrutiny with many HSers in my neck of the woods. It’s like we are taking away from them or something. The story of how you became a marathon runner after being a couch potato is especially appealing. Do tell! Or maybe you already have? :) if so send me a link.
Loved this Kris, and it’s come on the week I had a bust up with my mother in law about what’s best for MY children and a dear friend had a fight with both her parents about how she was ” abusing her children”. We are about to take off around the world with our boys, for a year or two, I consider that the best education possible ( yes, we’ll still do maths!). It’s amazing how many people have a problem with that. I’m signed up and off to your Facebook page.
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Wow! I can’t imagine a better education than traveling the world! That would be a dream come true. Have fun!