I’ve been reading lots of posts lately about why you should attend a homeschool convention, but I’m thinking maybe there are reasons you should stay far, far away from homeschool conventions. I came up with six of them.
1. You can just look for stuff online. I mean, really, who wants to be around all those brand-new books, just right there where you can touch them, look through them, read a little bit, and ask questions of the publishers or authors? Who needs all that when you can just look at some sample pages online and post a random question on Facebook, just hoping that someone might answer it?
2. You don’t have to be around all those homeschooling families. Who ever thought a homeschool convention would be a good idea? Securing a huge facility where hundreds of homeschooling families can mingle and talk right there in person? Don’t they know we’re all weird and unsocialized?
3. You don’t have to listen to all those speakers. Who needs the refreshment, encouragement, and validation that those speakers can provide? We can do this on our own, right? None of us homeschooling moms have ever felt doubt or discouragement. And the comedians? Do homeschooling families really have a sense of humor? Whatever.
4. You don’t have to go away for the weekend. Do these convention organizers really think homeschool moms would enjoy a weekend away with their girlfriends, their spouses, or, Heaven forbid, all alone? We love being with our kids all. the. time. Especially when we’re in the bathroom and they’re outside banging on the door trying to talk to us or get us to referee a sibling disagreement. And, hiding in the closet trying to have a phone conversation with a friend is way better than talking to her in person. Out in public. Over a cup of coffee.
5. You don’t have to spend time with the authors and vendors of your favorite homeschool curriculum or the curriculum you’re considering it. Why would you ever want to talk to the person who invested their heart and soul and so much of their time into the homeschool curriculum you’re using or considering? You don’t need to understand the thought process behind it, why it’s organized the way it is, or what teaching philosophy guides it. Just use it and hope for the best.
6. You don’t have to worry about encouraging someone else. If you don’t go to a homeschool convention, you don’t have to worry about running into a friend or striking up a conversation with a stranger who might need the reassurance and encouragement you can offer. Nope. Stay home and keep all that to yourself. Being a hermit is a lot more fun.
Of course, if none of that bothers you, you’re welcome to go to a homeschool convention. You might even consider any one of the Great Homeschool Conventions locations. There are three of them in 2014. Find one near you!