I’ve had a couple of conversations lately that have just made me have to shake my head and laugh. I thought maybe you might like to start the week off with a good laugh, too.
First, one day last week, I was snacking on a bowl of cereal when Megan walked into the room. Her presence reminded me of something I’d been meaning to talk to her about, so I said:
Megan, this is the second day in a row that I’ve had cereal for a snack. It’s also the second day in a row that I haven’t been able to eat my cereal with my favorite cereal spoon. That’s because that last time I saw my favorite cereal spoon it was in the basement in the playroom, along with some other dirty dishes. That’s been at least a week, maybe two. If you guys don’t start bringing up your dirty dishes, you’re not going to be allowed to eat anywhere but the kitchen because dirty dishes attract bugs and bugs are gross.
No, I’m not exaggerating for effect. I really said all that. Megan looked at me for a minute, then asked, “So you want me to go get the dirty dishes?”
Um, yeah, that’d be good. And, while you’re gone I’ll work on being a little more concise.
The other conversation took place at the library with the new librarian. When he was checking out the first set of books — the kids and I each have our own cards — he tore off the little ticker tape that lists the checked-out books and their due dates. I told him that if he wouldn’t mind to just leave them all on the same ticket, that would be great because it would be easier for me to keep up with. The conversation that ensued sounded like a “who’s on first” comedy routine.
Library guy: I can’t leave them all on one tape because they’re on different cards.
Me: I know they’re on different cards, I just meant if you could just leave them all on the same ticket when you check them out.
Library guy: But, I can’t do that. They’re on different cards.
Me (trying not to sound rude because the library ladies always leave the books on the same ticket for me): Well, I mean, you could check them out on their different cards, but just let them print out on the same tape.
Library guy: I know what you’re saying, but the system won’t let me do that. They’re on different cards.
Me (smiling and trying not to sound too cruel when I point out the guy’s senior moment): Well, you could do it…if you just don’t tear off the tape.
Library guy: Oh, I see what you’re saying.
He then proceeds to try to leave Josh and Megan’s books on the same tape, but it only prints off Josh’s books. I’m guessing this is because he didn’t hit print after checking out Megan’s books, but he says, “Oh, see? I can’t do that. I’ll have to ask and see if there is some work around for that.”
I didn’t say a word. I just thanked him and left. Then, when I got in my van, I said, to no one in particular, “You can do it. You do everything that you usually do, except for the part where you reach out your hand and tear the ticket off the printer. You skip that part till the very end. Duh!!”
Kris Bales is a newly-retired homeschool mom and the quirky, Christ-following, painfully honest founder (and former owner) of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. She has a pretty serious addiction to sweet tea and Words with Friends. Kris and her husband of over 30 years are parents to three amazing homeschool grads. They share their home with three dogs, two cats, a ball python, a bearded dragon, and seven birds.