Just in case you’ve ever wondered, I think, after 10+ years of blogging, I am qualified to explain how to offend folks online. Unfortunately, my working title for this post was too long. Still, I thought it was worth sharing. Ready? (Oh, and I won’t be using the traditional capitalization rules for titles because my shift fingers don’t have that much energy.)
How to Offend Just About Anyone on the Internet in 3 Easy Steps
How to offend or annoy homeschool moms, homeschool dads, homeschool grandparents, public school parents, private school parents, teachers, people who think homeschooling is the most ludicrous thing they’ve ever heard of, Christians (both conservative and liberal), atheists, agnostics, people of faiths other than Christianity, stay-at-home-moms, work-at-home-moms, moms who work outside the home, people who keep their homes really clean, people who keep their homes really messy, people who celebrate Christmas and various and sundry other holidays, people who don’t celebrate Christmas and various and sundry other holidays, people who…
Okay, you probably get the point (and I may have just offended all the people groups I left out). Now, on to the steps.
Step 1. Start a blog.
Step 2. Write words.
Note: There are two approaches you can take here.
- If you’re the “go big or go home” type, you can write words that you’re fairly certain will offend whichever group you’re trying to offend.
- If you’re more the non-confrontational type, you can write words that seem innocent enough, though, deep down, you know that there is someone out there who can and will take offense to them.
Step 3. Hit “publish.”
There you go! It’s that simple. Now you, too, can easily offend just about anyone on the Internet. Optionally, you can also start a social media page and follow Steps 2 and 3 to offend people there.
Note: This post is not directed to anyone in particular and is intended to be funny. Any resemblance to any actual person on the Internet, living or dead, is purely coincidental. If this post has offended you in any way, well, that kind of proves its point.