10 Bits of Homeschool Wisdom

Home Science Tools Banner
* This post may contain affiliate links or sponsored content. *

Did you like this article? If so, please help by sharing it!

Whether you’re homeschooling your first year, your tenth, or your twentieth, sometimes you just need some reminders of those little (and not-so-little) truths about homeschooling.

(For the record, I’m just guessing about that 20 years part. We’re not quite there yet.)

1.  Socialization is a non-issue.  I’ve posted a time or two or three about my opinion on the whole socialization issue. The truth is, if you’re anything like us, some time about midway through the first or second year of homeschooling, the real socialization problem becomes making sure that you turn down enough social opportunities to actually be able to stay home and get some school done once in awhile.

2.  It will take a while to find your groove. This whole homeschooling thing is an adjustment for everyone (especially if you’re transitioning from public school to homeschool). You may realize right away that homeschooling is the right choice for your family, but it’s fairly common not really to feel like you’ve got it together for two, three, or even four years.

3.  Your home doesn’t have to look like a public school classroom.  I mean, if you want to say the Pledge of Allegiance so your kids can learn it or take recess so you can go outside and play for awhile, go for it. But chill out. It’s called homeschool for a reason. Live, laugh, and learn together. Naturally.

4.  Character training is as important as academics. When we first started homeschooling, there were these crazy people on this email group (Remember those? It was pre-Facebook.) who sometimes suggested putting the academics aside for a bit and focusing on the character issues. Except, as it turns out, they weren’t crazy, they were experienced.

Academics are important, but character is that aspect of your child’s homeschool education that will be there long after she’s forgotten the names of all the Egyptian Pharaohs – except for King Tut and Hatshepsut because, hey, they’re fascinating.

5.  Don’t focus on the areas of struggle. Yeah. No, seriously, don’t turn your child’s area of struggle into the thing that defines him. The rest of the world focuses enough on that without your help.  Spend some time shoring up the weak areas, but focus on your child’s gifts and talents. Let his strengths be what define him.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Focus on your child’s gifts and talents. Let his strengths be what define him.” quote=”Focus on your child’s gifts and talents. Let his strengths be what define him.”]

6.  There will be learning gaps. Do you remember everything you learned in school? Did you learn everything you need to know about life in school? Of course not. Neither will your kids. The important thing is to give them the necessary skills they need to succeed and make sure they know how to learn.

Does that mean that you only teach them the basic skills and nothing else?  No, but if they have those skills and they know how to learn, they can learn anything that you might miss – or they forget – on their own when the need arises.  Homeschooling’s goal is to equip kids for life, not teach them everything about it. If you try, you’ll drive yourself and your kids crazy.

7.  Read about a variety of homeschooling styles – even the ones that you think will never be for you. There is always something to glean from all the different homeschool styles. Take what works for you and leave the rest.

8. You will doubt yourself. It’s normal. We all do it, but you are absolutely qualified to teach your kids. You can do this.

[clickToTweet tweet=”Homeschooling’s goal is to equip kids for life, not teach them everything about it.” quote=”Homeschooling’s goal is to equip kids for life, not teach them everything about it.”]

9.  Never take glitter to a homeschool party. Really. Just don’t. Trust me.

10.  You will survive teaching algebra. Surprisingly, algebra makes much more sense now than it did the first time around. Really. I give Teaching Textbooks the credit. Even if you struggle, there are plenty of ways to effectively teach the subjects you find difficult.

What’s your best bit of homeschool wisdom?

updated from an article originally published August 10, 2010

+ posts

Kris Bales is a newly-retired homeschool mom and the quirky, Christ-following, painfully honest founder (and former owner) of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. She has a pretty serious addiction to sweet tea and Words with Friends. Kris and her husband of over 30 years are parents to three amazing homeschool grads. They share their home with three dogs, two cats, a ball python, a bearded dragon, and seven birds.

Did you like this article? If so, please help by sharing it!

35 Comments

  1. Wow! Thanks so much for sharing this! I am just going to be starting some 'preschool' for my middle son that's 3 and I am really nervous about the whole homeschooling thing. I have it talked up really well in my head but I am super nervous to actually be saying out loud – "Yes. I am educating my children. No. They will not be going to public school for it." I especially like your mention of teaching them how to learn. That has been my saving grace… don't stress over all the things I may miss… as long as they know how to look it up if they need to then they might be alright. Thanks again for sharing! I love reading your blog – just don't always comment. 🙂
    Have a great day!

  2. Hi Kris – Your list is SO VERY accurate. Even to the point of saying that it isn't until about year four that you start hitting a grove. We're just beginning year 4 and I'm finally feeling like it's okay to admit to the good days/bad days, okay to switch curriculum during the school year, okay to say no to vendors at H.S. Conventions, etc.

  3. @ Jennifer — You brought up a very good point that I should have mentioned, "You don't have to be married to your curriculum." I think that's why it took us until Year 4 to feel that we'd found our groove — because that's when we finally starting finding the curriculum pieces that were a good fit for us.

    Jacque and Carrie, thanks for commenting! 😉

    1. This is great! I needed this. I’ve been homeschooling for 2 years. I have a 17 yr old “auto-pilot” child whom never needs my help and is already completed 30hrs of college credits with a 3.5 gpa. I also have a 10 yr old who is dyslexic and struggles with math and reading but is super creative and spends the majority of her day sewing, cooking or drawing. I’ve always felt like i need to make her work more in the areas she struggles in but i never do. Like you said as long as they know “how to learn” then that’s good enough. My kids are night and day and so i’m still learning what works for us. Everyday is a learning process and everyday we both learn something new. I’ve never felt like i had to recreate the public school system but i think in the back of my mind i second guessed myself a lot. Your blog has really helped me realize that it’s ok to teach her at her pace and not mine. 🙂 Thank you

  4. I'm not even a homeschooler (well, I guess I am b/c my kids are 4 and 1…so I'm at home and teaching them, right?) but this is fantastic information. Chilling out on every level and focusing on character is indeed the most important!

    Thanks for linking up!

  5. Thank you for this post, from this mom who is homeschooling her 13 year old son for the first time this year! I LOVED #5! That is my true goal. He's a smart kid so he will learn. But I want to spend a whole year letting him see what it's like to have someone focusing on his positives instead of his negatives! (But my natural self will have to fight myself to keep from pointing out those negatives.)
    Nicole

  6. I needed this today! Public schools are going to school today in our area. I'm a first-year homeschool mom and just needed to be reaffirmed. Thanks!

  7. I think I was really hard on our oldest when she started first grade, because I had listened too much to other people. A neighbor of mine, whose child was a couple of years older and going to the local public school, had told me kids practically need to learn how to read BEFORE they entered school. I felt like a failure – I hadn't even begun to teach her to read and she was almost in Kindergarten! 😉 Also, some family members had expressed concerns about our decision to homeschool – and they still do! I thought my child was "behind". (Behind who?) I was really hard on her. She learned to read well the summer after Kindergarten. The time has gone so quickly. I wish I had slowed down and savored our time together more. Now, she's in 7th grade (already?) and we have two more.

  8. Kris, this is such a great post! And you are so right with the socialization. I am having to cut back this year, so we can have a little time at home to get some work done! 🙂

  9. This was a really good post. I sooo agree with number 5. Calmly and discreetly address weaknesses… yes. But make our lives a quest to "fix" our kids… NO!
    If only we could write to our younger selves! 🙂

  10. This is such a great list! I'm finally feeling I've hit a groove because I'm not super freaked out about this year. It will be the first year I'm really schooling 3 though.

  11. Thank you for this! We just finished our first year of homeschooling, and I am loving the revelations that have come to the surface. There is no way to describe it, really – we are all more relaxed, happy, and I think a million times smarter for it!

  12. Great list! I shared it with some of my friends who are 1st time hs'ers. Sometimes we tend to get away from the original reason we chose to hs, because we're too busy trying to "do it right."
    Keep on keepin' on, Mama!

  13. Kris, this is excellent advice. Really excellent. It's so hard to see someone who is struggling with trying to do everything (like I did)and know how to best help them. It's also very hard to share this type of advice without sounding like a "know-it-all", but you've done such a good job of sharing with humility that I think people will listen.

  14. Thanks, Kristen. I think the humility part is born from the fact that this really is what I would say to myself back then if I could. I was really uptight that first year. 😉

  15. I haven't even started homeschooling yet, but I greatly appreciate the list. I went k-12 in public school myself so I don't really know "how" t homeschool or how to start or anything. It makes me nervous. But now that I know some good books to check out, I have something to go on.

  16. I ditto it taking a while to find your groove. Even though we have homeschooled from the beginning, I feel like this year (my oldest is in 2nd grade) is the first year we've really got things going. More organized, knowing my son and his learning style better, him responding to me better as his teacher (that was more of an obedience issue, but anyway…). With this year shaping up to look so good, I can't wait to see how we improve even more in the years ahead!

  17. I could have written this verbatim…even down to the "classically eclectic with a Charlotte Mason bent". Excellent advice. And now that this will be my 6th year (holy cow!) I all of a sudden feel like a veteran…not a pro, but experienced enough to kick back a bit. Thanks for this great post!

  18. Thanks for the list! This is my first year and I hope to find us a groove at some point, it's lovely to know I'm not the only one who feels she is balancing on shaky ground here! Always so nice to hear such heartfelt advice on this subject. Bless you!

  19. These are all so good, and I laughed out loud at #9. The only thing I have to add is more for newer homeschoolers, and that is to not go running out right away to buy curriculum. First, let your child explore their own interests, and watch how they like to learn. It will save so much heartache if you consider your child’s personality and learning style when choosing- or nor choosing- curriculum.

  20. Love this list! I would add to take all advice (including mine!) with a grain of salt. Just like parenting in general, we all need to find what works for us. Like you said about reading about different styles – taking what works and leaving the rest, I think we also need to let it go when other homeschool moms are trying to convince us that we need to do xyz and we know it’s not a good fit. No 2 families will homeschool the same way. Not only is that ok, it’s kind of the point of homeschooling in the first place!

  21. Love these, especially #5. My daughter is a spitfire and full of passion. Unfortunately, this means when she is disappointed or doesn’t get her way, she can get passionately unhappy. I get this pointed out to me often as if I don’t know it. I wish these same people would take the time to see the positive in her. It’s there and on display, but they only see the one moment of unhappy passion and define her by that. Thank you for reminding me to focus on her strengths since she gets enough of people harping on her weakness.

  22. After 10 years of homeschooling (mostly unschooling and I am still de-schooling my mindset at times after all these years….)
    I have allowed my kids to sleep when they needed, play when they needed, and study what thrilled their imaginations. That said, I sweat every month worrying if I have covered enough ground-covered enough bases-yada..yada…yada!

    And then I watch them out in the world. I watch how they engage with that world with humanity in their hearts and grace and style that is uniquely and gloriously their own. That is when I sit back and say to myself-they are going to be just fine 😉

    1. Thank you for that reminder, as indeed, unschooling is trying at time when you hear all around people worrying about what my child DOESN’T know yet, and SHOULD by that time… but then, she’s so much more “humane” than kids going to school, and in the end, it will help her more than knowing her algebra or writting without a single word wrong (especially today with all those aids in spelling grammar and other…) So yes for character and emotionnal education!!!

  23. Thank you! We are in the middle of our third year and just now getting in our groove. Glad we pushed on through and didn’t give up.

  24. Great reminder for this old, homeschool mom going on her 19th year of homeschooling… 2 grads and working on a 10th grader (at least I think that’s the grade she’s in). 🙂

Leave a Reply to Leanne Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.