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7 Revealing Signs You’ve Been Homeschooling Too Long


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Written by Adrienne Bolton of The Mommy Mess.

Homeschool life can be funny. There are admittedly days when you feel like you’re completely “off the grid” and out of touch. Some days I wonder if I would ever be able to re-enter society by way of a public school car line if I had to.

After almost ten years, our family has completely embraced this crazy lifestyle. We all know homeschool moms can be a little weird and lately, I think I’ve been showing my homeschool mom age.

Can you relate to these signs you’ve been homeschooling too long?

1. You know what kombucha and kefir are and how to make or use them.

Oh man. The natural mamas are an inspiration, aren’t they? Hang out in homeschool circles for about five minutes, and you’ll find one. Their skin is glowing, their kids are free-range, and they have an organic garden. That they actually eat from.

kombucha

I have picked up some pretty crazy recipes for curing colds and flu, and I’m guilty of growing a SCOBY in my fridge. My husband almost puked when I showed it to him, and my sister was sure I’d get botulism. Kombucha is fun.

2. You don’t like schedule commitments.

We like the freedom of our schedules and, believe it or not, we prefer being at home most days. I hate feeling over-committed, so I usually go out of my way to under-commit. Ha!

This year we didn’t join a co-op. We haven’t committed to field trips or running around like crazy. We’ve just been home. We love it!

3. You find a way to turn any activity into a learning experience.

No matter how annoying it is for your family, you try to make every outing educational! Bonus points if you bring home some kind of paper to stick in your kids’ year-end portfolio. My kids hate when I geek out around town.

4. You need a tutor for suit shopping.

Lord, help me when our family has to dress up for a special occasion. My oldest never wanted to participate in homecoming or prom. A lot of homeschool kids do, but my kids are not those kids. My husband works in construction and the last time he wore a suit it was 1999. Not kidding.

My son attended a formal birthday party a couple of years ago, and I had to call my best friend for back up. Bless her! She met us at Kohl’s and picked out his outfit for me. Thanks to her he looked great! Left in my hands, he would have looked like a 70-year-old grandpa going to bridge club.

Unless it’s shorts or flip-flops, I’m at a total loss! The last time we went to a wedding, I spent an hour on the phone with my sister taking notes on how to shop for suits.

5. The only work clothes you own are new yoga pants.

I have no fashion sense and no clothes. The end.

Maybe my bestie will take ME shopping?

6. You don’t understand the inappropriate text abbreviations your sister sends.

I’m way out of the loop on anything for adults only. There’s no office banter going on here, that’s for sure! I didn’t understand my sister’s text joke the other day, and she nearly lost it.

Sisters are bad. And hilarious!

7. You know too many random facts, and you share them with strangers.

You guys. I’m like an annoying seven-year-old who wants to talk about animals except I look like a regular woman. Unsuspecting strangers have no idea what’s coming.


After finding myself explaining macaroni penguins to a complete stranger in the doctor’s office waiting room, it’s painfully clear I need to get out more and learn how to talk to adults again.

Have you been homeschooling too long? What are some of your signs?

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Author profile
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Adrienne Bolton is a freelance writer and veteran homeschool mom. She began homeschooling in 2009 to meet the needs of her oldest son who struggled with the public school setting. Her boys have had different experiences with homeschooling, but both have thrived in spite of her. Her oldest son transitioned from public school after fourth grade and her youngest is 100% homegrown, having never stepped foot in a traditional classroom. Now with one son in college and one working his way through high school, she is proof anyone can do this. She writes with humor and heart, peppered with occasional snark and sarcasm. When she is not writing or working you can find her with a good book in hand, snuggling her massive Pitbull fur baby, or making something yummy in the kitchen. She loves to cook, bake, and be outdoors in the sunshine. The beach is her happy place and she's a true flip-flop wearing Florida girl. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

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4 Comments

  1. I honestly laughed out loud at most of these! Um…yes!! Lol, these are so true and I’m definitely one of the number. Our family also loves the freedom of scheduling, as I also work from home as a freelance writer. It’s hard to nail anything down! But I wouldn’t trade it for the world! Thanks for sharing…so lovely!

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