Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers

Honest. Quirky. Real. Practical tips, candid reviews, and stereotype-smashing humor for homeschooling families.

Honest. Quirky. Real. Practical tips, candid reviews, and stereotype-smashing humor for homeschooling families.

Parenting Tweens (And Homeschooling Them) Without Losing Your Mind

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Written by Erin Vincent of Nourishing My Scholars.

Pre-teens, or tweens, are at an age when hormones start to kick in and emotions commence running rampant. This is the beginning stages of puberty, folks, and BOY! is it a wild ride.

Some days you’ll even think you’re losing your mind, but I’m learning some truths about for navigating this transitional and emotional stage in life.

Parenting Tweens (And Homeschooling Them) Without Losing Your Mind

Tweens are looking to be more independent and begin to question everything!

Especially their parents. Ask me how I know.

The thing is, I’m okay with the questions to an extent. Questions are how we learn, right?

I’m even down with a bit of negotiating. After all, negotiations allow my kiddo to feel like he has some say and control over what’s going on in his life.

“Why yes, you may forgo all other subjects in lieu of only reading today, but only if you double up on all said subjects tomorrow. Do we have a deal?”

Homeschooling has its advantages.

Sleep, Because They Are Growing

Wardrobe mix-ups and other fashion faux pas happen all the time around here.

Life’s too short for matching socks, but there was that unfortunate incident where my skinny jeans ended up being put away in his closet by mistake.

My son came out wearing them with a concerned look on his face. “Mom! Somethings not quite right with my pants…”

Let’s just say that lady’s jeans really do look odd on an eleven-year-old boy.

The point is, our kiddos are growing a ton! So much so that my son can fit into my clothes. YIKES! These kids seem to be in a constant state of high water pants and siestas. Seriously, I think this man-child is sleeping more now than he ever has. Ever!

Most days he doesn’t rise until 9 or 10 am. It’s not unheard of for him to be found dozing around 2 pm.

So, do you know what I do? I let him sleep!

When he gets his sleep, we have a 50% better chance of a less tumultuous day!

Notice I said 50%, not 100% and I mentioned LESS tumultuous, not NONE.

Homeschooling Middle School

Conversations, Listening, and Not Taking Things Personally

It’s HARD not to take things personally, momma. I know. I’m right there with you. Many a day I have found myself with head in hands crying behind the locked bathroom door.

Parenting tweens is not for the faint of heart.

Who is this Dr. Jekell and Mr. Hyde that’s suddenly inhabiting our home? One moment he is that sweet and thoughtful little boy I remember from days gone by. Other times, and without seemingly any provocation, doors are slamming and angry outbursts ensue.

Emotional rollercoaster, party of two.

Do you ever get the feeling that they are arguing just to argue?

Other times they come to you with intensely deep concerns about friendships, feelings, or endless talk about their favorite video game.

We have had some amazingly meaningful conversations after the outburst is over and both parties have had a chance to collect themselves.  It’s important to go back and talk about behaviors and reactions – how to navigate them, what’s appropriate, what’s normal, and how our choices affect others.

Listen, listen, listen! Truly hear them. We want our kids to feel that they can come and talk to us about anything. No matter how uncomfortable it makes you, remember they WILL find someone to talk to. Wouldn’t you rather that someone be you?

Listen with your ears and breathe through your mouth at least until you have multiple conversations on showering and deodorant.

Folks, puberty hormones are tough on our kiddos and their mommas.

The Body Book For Boys and The Boy’s Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up YOU! have been wonderful resources for our son.

For young girls, you may want to check out The Care and Keeping of You: The Body Book for Younger Girls or The Feelings Book: The Care and Keeping of Your Emotions.

Moody Eye Rolls, Attitudes, and Melting Your Heart

Just because your tween gives you the deep breaths of frustration, their moods change with the tides,  and their attitudes are in a constant state of flux doesn’t mean you aren’t doing a pretty fantastic job at this parenting gig. This stage won’t last.

When you see your mini man-child shaking the hands of senior residents and engaging them in conversation about their lives at the retirement home, your heart will melt.

When he offers to play his guitar for them just to make them smile your heart may do a backflip.

Watching him read aloud a Princess storybook to a little sister with a tummy ache to make her feel better will make your heart do a summersault.

You’ll get this inkling that maybe, just maybe, amidst all of the chaos of puberty and homeschooling, you might be doing something right.

Homeschooling Tweens

Look at the Big Picture

Parenting tweens is setting the stage for parenting teens. Yet, pre-teens still haven’t left the entirety of childhood behind. Thank goodness.

The end goal is for these future members of society to be mature, independent learners and thinkers who can make wise decisions while showing love and kindness to others.

Parenting Tweens (And Homeschooling Them) Without Losing Your Mind

We can try to guide our kids by being there for them, having conversations about what they’re going through, helping to develop their empathy while providing resources to answer any questions they may have.

Also, be kind to you. It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

None of us are perfect, and neither are our kids. This stage of life is a learning experience for everyone.

Are your kids starting to go through puberty? How are you handling it?

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Easy Spanish Lessons for the Whole Family

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A couple of weeks ago, Josh told me that he liked all the meals I’d fixed for supper the previous week. No, it wasn’t because I’m such a fantastic cook. He liked them because they made easy leftover meals for taking to work.

I still took it as the compliment it was though because all the meals were also simple to prepare and stuff that the whole family likes to eat.

Easy and effective. Those are my kind of meals.

Flip Flop Spanish review

I like easy and effective in my homeschool curriculum, too. Pick-up-and-go curriculum that my kids enjoy, that works well for them, and requires little prep work for me is the very best kind. That’s why I’ve been so happy with the Flip Flop Spanish curriculum.

What Is Flip Flop Spanish Curriculum?

Flip Flop Spanish is an easy-to-use, two-year Spanish curriculum designed for the whole family to learn together, from your preschooler to your high schooler – and you.

It comes with everything you need to start using it right out of the box. The only things you’ll need to add are a binder and a few index cards.

I also had some acrylic playing card storage boxes that I found extremely handy, but a couple of rubber bands or plastic sandwich bags would work just as well.

Elementary Homeschool Spanish

When you open the box, you’ll find:

  • The curriculum manual, 3-hole punched and ready to go into a binder with a front and back cover and spine insert
  • 3 sets of flashcards
  • 4 audio CD’s containing all the lessons
  • A dry erase paddle and marker for practice and games
  • Card-holder notebook pages for sentence-building

It is a homeschool curriculum/organizer junkie’s dream. I mean, seriously? Two full years of curriculum and (almost) everything you need to do it fits in one binder? What’s not to love about that?

(The only things that don’t fit in the binder are the flashcards. However, if you store them in a 3-hole-punched pencil pouch, you could store them in the binder, too.)

How Do You Use Flip Flop Spanish?

Flip Flop Spanish is so easy to use. I started by going through a lesson by myself to see how it worked. Then, I had Megan go through the lesson on her own. She finished and said, “That’s it?”

Yes, that’s it. The lessons are simple, interactive, and short – perfect for all ages. Each lesson is designed to take a week to complete, going through the same lesson at least three times before moving to the next. On the third time through, you don’t use the CD but interact with your student face-to-face.

Homeschool Spanish for High School

If you’re learning with only an older student, you can do two lessons at a time. Older kids and adults could do the lessons entirely independently (though it’s beneficial to have a practice buddy) using the curriculum guide and CD lessons. It’s recommended to spend at least three days a week on Spanish lessons.

The CDs feature a different track for each section of the lessons, which makes it simple to stop for younger kids with shorter attention spans and pick up where you left off.

What Does a Flip Flop Spanish Lesson Look Like?

For each lesson, there is a list of flashcards to pull out. Each flashcard has a picture on the front. The back lists the Spanish word and pronunciation, along with the English word. The cards are placed picture side up. As you listen to the CD, each word is introduced in English and Spanish.

The cards are also numbered, so it’s easy to find the ones you need to pull out for each lesson.

homeschool Spanish

Students are asked to touch the correct card when they hear its Spanish word. Because you’re only hearing the Spanish word and looking at the picture, the lessons teach your brain to think in Spanish.

Flip Flop Spanish review

After practicing the words, students use the cards to build sentences in Spanish. Older students are encouraged to keep a notebook and write out two or more of the sentences they build with the cards. This allows them to practice speaking, reading, and writing in Spanish and familiarizes them with Spanish grammar.

There are different activities peppered throughout the curriculum, such as Spanish Pictionary, hide-and-seek, and crossword puzzles. There is plenty of review – and even break weeks! – built into the curriculum.

Plus, there are invitations to email Señora Gose, the creator of the curriculum, if you have questions or get stuck. She really wants students to succeed with Spanish!

homeschool Spanish

See? Even la gata likes Flip Flop Spanish.

So, if you’re looking for a Spanish curriculum that’s easy to use and fun for all ages, check out Flip Flop Spanish. We can’t wait to dig into it more next school year! Be sure to check out some of their fun extras like a perpetual Spanish activity calendar and Spanish-English labels for objects around your home.

What Has Surprised Me Most About Homeschooling Middle School

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A few weeks ago, I ran into a friend I hadn’t seen in years. We talked all about the usual things – the kids, the husbands, the jobs, and, because we both homeschool, the learning. We laughed about how little our children used to be and how much they’ve grown.

Then, she said something that made me want to hug her and cry, all at the same time.

“Homeschooling during the middle school years is really, really weird. Right?”

“Right,” I said, giggling a little.

My oldest son is heading into his high school years.

My youngest is just beginning middle school.

After homeschooling middle school now for three full years, and staring down the reality of three more, there are a few things that still surprise me about this particular season of learning.

Too Old and Too Young, All At The Same Time

These years are called the middle years for a reason. Not quite children, not quite teens, I have found that this age group can fit in either, or not fit anywhere at all. This is especially true in homeschooling.

The old field trips are no longer exciting – unless a friend wants to come along and then all of a sudden, the aquarium touch tank is a thing of complete and total beauty.

The read-alouds are babyish, but pull out a thick classic, and it’s too much.

I have found that trying to incorporate elements of both makes the most sense. We still do lots of hands-on activities, but also throw in serious science or something gross to round out the developmental appropriateness.

The Resistance Is Real

Call it puberty.

Call it not feeling comfortable with the young ones or the teens.

Whatever you call it, in my experience, these years are the ones that bring the most resistance to learning.

What once worked beautifully as a morning routine is suddenly boring. The daily expectations are met with questioning and protest. The homeschool picture of you and your kids curled up on the couch reading turns into you and your kids on the couch trying to work through character concerns.

The good news? Because nature of these years is that they are both too old and too young at the same time, you still sometimes get snuggles on the couch and excitement over that fun science experiment you planned.

I try to remember, when the resistance comes, our children need these years to push and pull, figure out who they are, and do it in the safety their family provides.

Resources Can Be Limited

I LOVE all the resources that now exist for homeschooling high school. Getting ready for my oldest son’s next season has been a breeze. The options for curriculum are excellent, and there is tons of support available from other virtual moms.

The middle school years can be a little trickier when it comes to resources, but they are there! You just have to look a little harder.

It’s Still Working

Perhaps the biggest surprise of all for me has been the realization that even though these years can be so different – even challenging – our decision to homeschool is still working.

My boys are confident in their abilities, and they continue to learn in ways that complement their individual learning styles and differences. As much as these years bring turmoil and the beginnings of the search for a sense of self, I am grateful that we have the opportunity to do it all together at home.

My friend was right. Change and growth always cause a bit of discomfort and the middle school years are filled to the brim with both.

These years can be weird.

I am finding they can also be wonderful.

What has surprised you most about homeschooling middle school?

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10 Do’s and Don’ts of Homeschooling Middle School

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The middle school years, 6th-8th grades, are an exciting time of change and increasing maturity. Kids still enjoy the fun and exploration of the elementary years as they start moving toward the more serious, preparing-for-adulthood high school years. Make the most of this time with these ten do’s and don’ts of homeschooling middle school.

Do's and Don'ts of Homeschooling Middle School

5 Do’s of Homeschooling Middle School

Do use middle school as a transition to high school.

Middle school is an ideal time to start transitioning to high school in regards to expectations of independence, maturity, and quality of work. Parents will begin moving away from more teacher-intensive days and kids will start working more independently. It’s reasonable for you to expect more detail in their written work, research, and science labs.

Do use the middle school years to begin to practice for high school.

Use 8th grade as a practice year for high school (for you and your student). It’s an excellent time to begin tracking grades (if you weren’t already), figuring out plans for high school, and learning how to keep a transcript. Shore up weak areas (such as writing skills or speed with multiplication fact recall) so that your student is prepared to work on his own.

WriteShop

Do move toward greater independence.

Middle school is the prime time to start handing over the educational reins to your child. Teach your student how to schedule her own week and maintain a planner. Teach him study skills (because they don’t come naturally to most of us). Help your kids learn how to break down long-term assignments into manageable chunks, each with their own deadline.

Do begin to add student-choice electives.

Part of handing over those educational reins means giving your tween or teen some say-so in the classes he takes. Encourage your student to pursue his interests.  School is more fun when you get credit for doing the stuff you love. Start including more life skills training and home ec in your daily routine.

Do begin to let your student make choices (and mistakes!).

Sometimes it’s hard to allow your kids to make their own decisions, especially when you see all the things that could go wrong. But life is full of choices and their consequences. Let your kids make the not-life-altering decisions while they’ve still got you to guide them through the consequences of poor choices.

Do's and Don'ts of Homeschooling Middle School

5 Don’ts of Homeschooling Middle School

Don’t set your middle school student adrift.

Moving toward independence doesn’t mean setting your kids adrift. They still need you to hold them accountable. Ask them to narrate the chapter from their reading assignment. Check the grade book on the computer-based math program to be sure they’re doing and understanding all the work. (Ask me how I know to make those suggestions.)

Don’t forget that they’re still kids.

Don’t forget that your middle school students are still kids. They’re dealing with changing bodies and raging hormones. Increased expectations may stress them, particularly when they are struggling in an area and aren’t quite sure how to deal with it. Remember that any kind of transition is often a “one step forward, two steps back” process. Don’t hesitate to come alongside them and coach them on dealing with stress, hormones, and looming deadlines. You don’t have to fix their problems, but help them brainstorm solutions.

Don’t hesitate to come alongside your kids and coach them on dealing with stress, hormones, and looming deadlines. You don’t have to fix their problems, but help them brainstorm solutions.Click To Tweet

Don’t stop reading aloud.

There are so many benefits to reading aloud. Don’t stop just because your kids are getting older. Older kids mean that you choose read-alouds with more complex characters and storylines. In other words, you get to read more books that you will enjoy as much as they do!

Don’t stop arranging play dates.

Okay, you’re probably going to have to stop calling them play dates, but don’t stop planning social activities for your teens and tweens. They still need plenty of opportunities for socializing with their friends.

Don’t quit planning field trips.

As our kids get older, we sometimes let too much of the fun stuff fall by the wayside in favor of more serious school. However, teens and tweens can benefit as much – and maybe more – from field trips as younger kids can. Brainstorm the best field trip ideas for teens, choose those that appeal to your family, and invite a few friends or just head out as a family.

Homeschooling middle school is an exciting transitional time for you and your child. Try these tips to make it a smooth transition, as well.

What tips would you add from your own experience?

updated from an article originally published on March 15, 2016

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Top 6 Study Tips for Middle School and High School Students

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One of the greatest challenges of transitioning from parent-guided to independent learning can be developing strong study habits. That transition typically begins in middle school with the goal of having primarily self-directed learners by high school.

By the time your student reaches middle school, you should begin moving toward independent study time. Try these study tips for middle and high school students to help your student develop strong independent learning skills.

Find the Right Spot

First, help your student find his best study spot. For some kids, this may be the dining room table, where they have room to sit and spread out all their books. For others, it may be a desk in their room, the living room couch, or sprawled out on their bed. Even a porch swing or a blanket on the grass can be an ideal study spot in warm weather months.

The key factors of a good study spot include:

  • Good lighting
  • Space to write
  • A comfortable chair that is the right height for writing or typing comfortably (sprawlers excluded)
  • Access to supplies (pencils, paper, resource materials, a computer, etc.)

Set the Mood

Next, you want to set the mood for studying. Some students (and adults) prefer quiet for working. Josh and I can work for a couple of hours in companionable silence at the dining room table.
Other students, like Megan, prefer listening to music while they study and complete schoolwork.

Letting Megan listen to music while doing schoolwork might drive me crazy if I didn’t know that many studies prove that some people concentrate better with background noise. Granted, the music she listens to probably isn’t as conducive to learning as something like classical, but as long as she’s comprehending her schoolwork – and using headphones –  I’ll live with it.

If you or your kids work better with a little background noise, but find music distracting, check out Coffitivity. It’s a site that streams ambient white noise. Although I prefer quiet, I sometimes use Coffitivity to drown out other distracting sounds that come part and parcel with working from home.

Whether your student prefers a quiet study area or one with a little background noise, make sure the chosen spot fits the bill. Well, you know, as much as possible. Sometimes those of us who prefer quiet are out of luck in a busy household.

Teach Time Management

One of the most important skills your student will ever learn is effective time management. The ability to prioritize tasks and work without supervision are two skills that sometimes give homeschooled students an edge over their traditionally-schooled peers in college.

By allowing our students to work at their own pace and choose how and when to work on individual subjects, they may go to college better prepared than students used to regular 55-60 minute blocks of instructional time.

We need to be purposeful in teaching these skills because they are learned behaviors. We found the Victus Study Skills System very helpful, but there are probably some things that you’re already doing to help your student develop good habits.

Some ways to teach time management skills include:

  • Set and enforce due dates. We’re not doing our students any favors by not establishing consequences for unmet due dates.
  • Teach your student to work backward from the due date to create a schedule. For example, show her that if a book needs to be completed four weeks from now, she can divide the number of pages by how many days she plans to read to determine a daily reading goal. (Bonus tip: We only schedule 4 days a week for reading so that there is a built-in catch-up day if we get behind.)
  • Schedule time for studying. My kids have a space for “study hall” on their daily checklists.
  • Use a highlighter.
  • Make notes.
  • Discover how your student studies best. Does he need a study partner? Do drawings and diagrams help? Would she benefit from a site like Quizlet?

As parents and educational facilitators, we need to be modeling excellent time management skills, too. Just saying.

Limit Distractions

It is so easy to get distracted when you’re doing something that is not at the top of the list of things you want to be doing. Even as an adult, I have trouble not getting distracted by electronics and even household chores. Sometimes, unloading the dishwasher is preferable to whatever I’m supposed to be doing.

Some ways to limit distractions for our teens (or ourselves) include:

Don’t allow electronics during study times. I’m not as diligent about this as I should be. Most of the time, my kids are pretty good at self-regulating. In the past, I made them leave their phones with me until they had finished their schoolwork. I let them check their devices during short breaks between subjects.

Block social media sites during school hours. There are downloads and apps for blocking specific sites during times that you set up. LeechBlock is a Firefox extension, Cold Turkey is a download, and Self Control is an app for Mac users. You may also be able to set something up in Parental Controls, depending on your computer or mobile provider.

Keep study spots clean. Many people are easily distracted by clutter. If your students are that way,  it’s important for them to keep their study areas clean. Even if your kids can work amid the mess, too much clutter can hurt their productivity.

Try Checklists

We’ve found checklists to be very helpful in keeping everyone on track. It eliminates I-forgot-itis. And, I’m not just talking about the kids. I’m terrible about forgetting things without a list, too.

For school, we like the Basic Unlabeled Weekly one-page planner from DonnaYoung.org. I add checkboxes to it because we all derive great satisfaction from checking boxes.

My kids know that they can do their schoolwork in any order and even work ahead in subjects or work in blocks (history on Tuesdays and Thursdays and science on Mondays and Wednesdays, for example) as long as they complete everything by the end of the week.

We also love the planners from A Plan in Place. I use the homeschool teacher planner and the kids like the student planners. I love the TickTick app on my phone for work or household reminders and to-do lists.

Some kids may prefer using work crates. Brianna found them beneficial all the way through high school.

Check-in Regularly

Finally, I have found it helpful to check in with my kids on a regular basis. Some homeschool families have a morning meeting during which mom or dad and students go over what was done the day before, what needs to be done during the current day, and any areas of struggle or concepts that may need to be clarified.

I’ve found it helpful to peek in on my kids a time or two during the day. I do this at times that when it’s easy for them to get off-track – within half an hour of getting started back after lunch (because sometimes it’s tough to get back to schoolwork) and in the late afternoon when they’ve been working hard for awhile, and their concentration levels may be waning.

Sometimes just peeking in and asking how they’re doing or if there is anything they need help on is enough to make sure everyone stays focused.

Now, if I could just get someone to check in on me and make sure I stay focused…

What study tips have you discovered that work well for your independent learners?

updated from an article originally published February 17, 2015

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