Encouragement Archives - Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers

5 Important Skills You Need to Develop as a Homeschool Parent

December 20, 2018 By Alicia Hutchinson

Homeschooling? What homeschool parent skills do you need to develop? Alicia shares 5 crucial skills all homeschool parents need.

Written by Alicia Hutchinson of Learning Well Community.

Homeschooling has been possibly the hardest and most rewarding venture I’ve ever taken on. There’s no doubt that I am not the same person I was when we began 11 years ago. People tell me all the time reasons they could never homeschool.

“I don’t have the patience.”

“I’m not organized.”

“I don’t feel smart enough to homeschool.”

5 Important Skills You Need to Develop as a Homeschool Parent

Guess what. There’s no magic Fairy of Patience delivering an unending supply to homeschooling parents. And there’s no Merry Maids team showing up daily to keep things neat and tidy and organized. Sorry.

Homeschool moms are amazing, but we’re not supernatural beings. We have to work at those skills and character traits constantly.

The following five skills are important for every homeschooling parent to develop. I don’t want to make homeschool parents feel “less than” or guilt. We have enough of those feelings all on our own. But it’s also wise to continuously search ourselves and be the best versions of ourselves we can be. As I’ve homeschooled through the years, I’ve realized some skills that have helped me be a better homeschool mom. [Read more…]

The Best Things for Homeschooling Moms to Stop Doing

December 13, 2018 By Amy Dingmann

If you’re a homeschool mom trying to do all the things, relax! Let Amy show you the three best things for homeschooling moms to STOP doing right now.

Written by Amy Dingmann of The Hmmm…schooling Mom.

As homeschooling parents, we’re busy. Amen? And not only are we busy, but we often feel like failures. We believe we aren’t doing enough, doing it right, or doing what we should be. Because what we’re doing isn’t the same as Magical Suzy Q Homeschooler who keeps a Pinterest perfect house and does all of the things.

Because you have to do all the things, right?

Things for Homeschooling Moms to Stop Doing

With the decision to homeschool—and the busyness that comes with it—it’s simple to get caught up in the craziness of all the things we “have” to do.

But let’s talk for a minute about all those things you have to do because I’d like to give you some relief. I want to talk about three things you can stop doing when it comes to homeschooling your kids.

Things That Don’t Benefit Your Kids Educationally

Regardless of where you fall along the gamut of homeschooling methods, it’s safe to say that you’re hoping to get something “educational” out homeschooling. Academics and education may have been the whole reason you chose to homeschool. Or you may want your kid to have enough time to dive into and learn about the things he loves.

Despite our reasons, we find ourselves fixating on where we think our kids should be academically or educationally or even the level of interest they should have in all the things. We won’t let go of that one curriculum that we hate, but everyone else loves. Or we obsess over the new method that everyone is talking about.

Pinterest tempts you to change the entire set up of your school day. Talking to your best friend entices you to revamp your entire schedule to the one that works perfectly at her house.

Sometimes those changes, methods, or ideas are amazing and offer you a break or different perceptive on your homeschooling life. Sometimes they do benefit your kids.

But sometimes they don’t.

And you need to know that’s okay. You do not need to continue to plod through a homeschooling approach that isn’t working or a curriculum your family hates.

Promise. In ten years, you will look back and say why did we stick with that for so long when it wasn’t even helping?

I mean, who is the boss here?

Things That Don’t Matter to, Help, or Strengthen Your Family

A large part of the awesomeness of homeschooling is the way our family relationships grow within it.

So, guess what. If something about homeschooling works against that? Stop doing it.

I know families who decided to homeschool so they could spend more time with a parent who works a crazy schedule.

Those same families get caught up in we have to join all the co-ops and all the extracurriculars and all the things that come along with a thriving homeschool community. And those kids end up seeing that parent with the crazy schedule the same amount of time—or less—than they would have if the kids attended public school.

The beauty of homeschooling is that every family is different. Celebrate that! Concentrate on the things your family needs. That’s why you chose to homeschool, right? It’s what your family needed.

Stay true to that.

Trying to Do Everything

Mama, listen to me. You were never supposed to “do it all.”

Yes, life with kids is busy and messy. And there is So. Much. To. Do. You can easily get overwhelmed as a mama, homeschooling or not.

And yes, we need to do the dishes, pay the bills, and drive Junior to music lessons. Someone has to vacuum before the dog hair takes over the house and plan the menu for next week and, holy moly, were we supposed to be a practice at 5?

Life is crazy busy, but maybe we’re not busy with the right things.

(I know that for some of you, that phrase just made your skin crawl. But hear me out.)

Here’s the thing. Life is supposed to be busy. Life with kids, life in relationship with other people, life as a spouse, life as a homeowner, life as a responsible and caring citizen of the world is supposed to be busy and messy. And if someone told you otherwise, they l-i-e-d to you. They lied to you a lot.

But.

I’m not sure what it is about women, but a vast majority of us tend to cram way more into our lives than we can safely or sanely handle at any given point. Like an overloaded plate of Thanksgiving dinner, we’ve got a river of gravy dripping off the side and a couple of dollar buns toppling off a mountain of mashed potatoes. We can’t carry the second plate of dessert because it’s too small for the three pieces of pie we stacked on it.

Y’all, we’re filling the plates of our lives with things that shouldn’t necessarily be plopped on them right now.

Y'all, we're filling the plates of our lives with things that shouldn't necessarily be plopped on them right now.

Do Make Choices

I’ll repeat, life is busy. At every stage of parenting, you will be busy with different things. The busyness of toddlers is different (not less) than the busyness with teenagers. And at those various stages of busy-ness in your life as a parent, you can accomplish different things.

Dig deep into your soul and figure out if the things you’re busy with right now are the things you’re supposed to be busy with.

Is it the best time to serve on the council at church? Be on the board of directors for a local non-profit? Volunteer to take over Thursday night distribution at the food shelf? Write a book about your life experiences growing up off-grid? Foster animals for a shelter? Provide 24-7 drop off daycare for your sister?

If it is, great! Fabulous!

But it might not be the right time. We can be busy with helpful, amazing—even sacrificial things—at a point in our life when they’re the wrong things to be busy with.

So, let’s reiterate:

Life. is. busy. So very busy. And…

…Sometimes we add things to an already busy life that aren’t ours to add at the time we try to add them.

Try These Tips

Start small. Decide what matters to you and your family. Figure out the things on your to-do list that make things happen within the boundaries of your life together.

Research ways to make those things happen as effectively as possible. Look up organizational and time-saving tips to make the best use of your time.

Consider if, at this point in your life, you can honestly take on more. Is right now the right time to do that thing? And in saying yes to that thing, what will you be saying no to?

Mamas, it’s not our call to do it all. It’s our call to do the best things at the best time.

You’re a homeschooling mama. Have you forgotten the power in that choice?

You’re a fish that swims upstream. You’re a warrior. Stand up for the decisions you made. Be strong about the things you can stop doing.

What is something you’re doing that you need to stop doing right now?

4 of the Best Reasons to Homeschool Dyslexic Students

November 15, 2018 By Shawna Wingert

Homeschooling dyslexic students provides many of the modifications and accommodations that help them become successful, confident students.

Written by Shawna Wingert of Not the Former Things.

At four years old, my youngest son could write his name and recite the alphabet. It sounds basic, I know. We all start there when teaching our children the foundations of reading and writing.

But the truth is, beyond these basics, he struggled.

Although he could sing the alphabet song, he could not identify every letter of the alphabet by sight. He could write his name, but often reversed the “y.” And, he couldn’t read his name when he saw it on a flashcard.

I have several family members who are dyslexic. Everyone told me not to worry.

So, I didn’t – at least not at first.

The Hidden Benefits Of Homeschooling My Dyslexic Child, Shawna Wingert

We decided to homeschool before this little guy was even in kindergarten. After a few fun years in a Montessori preschool, he came home for school with his older brother and me.

About a week into our first year, I knew we needed a professional evaluation.

About a year into homeschooling, we finally got one. The results didn’t surprise us.

It was official. We were homeschooling a dyslexic child.

After discovering his learning differences, most people assumed we would put him back into school so the “experts” could help him learn to read.

I understood their concerns. I feared I was making the wrong choice and would destroy my son’s shot at becoming a successful reader. Eight years later, I can say, without a doubt, that homeschooling was the best choice for him.

Homeschooling directly impacts and accommodates his dyslexia in ways a traditional school never could.

Back when I terrified, I wish I had known the reasons homeschooling is ideal for dyslexic students.

Homeschool Provides One-on-One Instruction for Dyslexic Students

Most dyslexia experts say reading fluency requires systematic, consistent, one-on-one instruction. In a traditional school setting, this usually means pulling struggling students out of class. They spend 30 minutes, twice a week, in a resource room with other struggling readers.

At home, it is every single day, every single reading lesson. Homeschooling meets the learning requirements for dyslexic students better than any other educational option.

Homeschool Education Is Strengths-Based

In my experience, one of the best reasons to homeschool dyslexic students has nothing to do with reading. Homeschooling allows for a strengths-based education where students can progress in ways not possible with a traditional textbook-based, reading-heavy approach.

For example, my child can study every subject in ways that work best for his learning needs. Though technically a sixth-grader, he completes high school level science experiments. He loves books because he listens to them freely on Audible rather than struggling to decipher print books.

Home Education Allows Movement and Tactile Learning

Many dyslexic students also have differences associated with ADHD, my son included. Homeschooling allows us to work with his attention span gaps and constant need to move. We make them part of how he learns at home.

For example, he practices sight words by writing them on the sidewalk in chalk. He jumps back and forth as he reads them. This simple change (vs. the average flash cards) makes a significant difference in his overall retention.

Adding movement and hands-on activities to almost every lesson is a fantastic benefit of educating my son at home.

4 of the Best Reasons to Homeschool Dyslexic Students

Homeschooling Increases a Dyslexic Child’s Confidence And Self-Perception

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, I know that my son’s confidence and self-assurance stem from avoiding dyslexia-related stigma by learning at home.

My son knows about his learning differences and struggles but also recognizes his gifts and strengths. He spends most of his time in the subjects and topics that interest him. He describes himself as “smart” and says he “loves to learn about new things.”

This self-perception ranks as one of the best reasons of all to homeschool my dyslexic child.

Homeschooling My Dyslexic Child, Shawna Wingert

He was pretty proud of this one. ;

For everyone considering homeschooling a dyslexic student (or currently homeschooling one), please let me encourage you. My experience tells me that homeschooling provides an optimal learning experience for dyslexic students.

What benefits of homeschooling a child with dyslexia have you discovered?

If you suspect your student may have dyslexia, try the free dyslexia screener from Lexercise.

How to Control Your Anger When Homeschooling Gets Hard

November 8, 2018 By Erin Vincent

Homeschooling can test the patience of a saint, but Erin has some practical anger management strategies for homeschooling parents.

Written by Erin Vincent of Nourishing My Scholars.

I had a major outburst today, folks. Have you ever had one of those? If you’re a mother, homeschooler – gosh, let’s face it, a human being – then I’m sure you have.

We woke up late, as usual. But today we had somewhere to be and homeschool appointments to keep. It seemed that everything was against us in making it anywhere on time.

I couldn’t get anyone to eat their breakfast or brush their teeth. One was complaining that the other wouldn’t stop looking at them. Someone’s sock was turned the wrong way, and they couldn’t walk until we fixed it.

Twenty minutes later someone else had forgotten their blankie. Then someone got to lock the back door before the other got a chance! Oh, the tears.

Good. Grief. The kids were tired and cranky, and so was I.

We are not morning people.

As we were backing out of the driveway and the bickering and crying escalated. I bellowed, “Enough!”

Then, I pulled the car back into the driveway and ordered everyone to get out. “We aren’t going anywhere,” I yelled. The shock on my children’s faces seared into my brain as I got out of the car and marched back inside the house.

It wasn’t my finest moment, folks.

I want to model calm, peace, and patience for my little ones. But this was not it. So, what are my anger management strategies when homeschooling gets hard?

We All Struggle with Our Emotions

Anger is the hardest emotion of all to control. Yes, homeschool moms get angry sometimes. We’re human, after all.

We have stressful jobs. Kids have meltdowns over assignments. Siblings bicker. And, we never get to go to the bathroom alone.

Being with our kiddos all day every day can be taxing. Don’t get me wrong; we also have the most fabulous job in the world. Homeschooling is a beautiful blessing, but sometimes juggling a million different balls gets to us.

Especially when the balls drop.

Underneath the emotion of anger, other subtler emotions lurk. We may not even recognize them. Underlying feelings such as fear, guilt, shame, and hurt masquerade as anger.

Am I doing enough?

Are my kids falling behind?

I’m failing them!

I can’t do it all.

These hidden emotions result in responses lacking the grace, love, and understanding we intend.

We all struggle with our emotions.

And then, we don’t enjoy the lovely gift of all that homeschooling has to offer.

How to Control Your Anger When Homeschooling Gets Hard

Anger Management Strategies for Tough Homeschool Days

The best defense is a great offense. Recognize when your emotions are about to get the best of you and take action to handle them more positively.

I shouldn’t have yelled, but canceling our plans for the day was necessary. It prevented worse meltdowns from both the kids and me. I was able to go inside and re-group, reschedule, calm down, and plan how to turn our day around.

And it did turn around. We had a lovely day of nature, art, and board games.

These helpful tips work for me when homeschooling get hard:

1. Slow Down. Count to 5 or 10 or even 30 – whatever you need to slow down and acknowledge that your emotions may be getting the better of you. Check your expectations and evaluate what’s going on.

Did you schedule something in the early morning knowing that your kiddos are NOT early morning people? Are you expecting too much or overscheduled? Both can cause a usually calm person to lose it. Maybe you need to cut back and leave space? Remember, learning still happens in those unplanned spaces.

2. Breathe. Breathing, which helps calm anger, is vital for controlling emotions. When we can calm our anger, we are more in control of ourselves. Take a few moments to close your eyes and focus on your breath. Breathe in and count to 4. Then breathe out and count to 4. Repeat. The bathroom and bedroom closet make great breathing rooms.

3. Mindfulness. We aren’t in control of anyone else’s actions, only our own. While we’re slowing down and breathing is a great time to reflect on this fact.

Controlling Your Emotions when Homeschooling Gets Hard

Other Helpful Anger Management Tips

One of the most helpful things I’ve learned over the years of parenting is NEVER to act while angry. Anger causes us to lash out. We may feel vindicated in our actions, but after a cool down we will see the overreaction and hurt relationships that our anger caused.

For me, homeschooling is about building the relationships with my family.

Find Your Tribe

When your homeschool is less than perfect, seek out your tribe for wisdom and inspiration. If you don’t have a physical tribe to turn to, then look online for like-minded mamas.

Whenever you’re feeling down in the dumps about homeschooling, watch one of Julie Bogart’s videos. Julie is the creator and owner of a language arts program called Brave Writer. She is also a former homeschool mom of 5 for 17 years.

Anytime I need a pick-me-up or help understanding where to go when my emotions are high; I turn to Julie. I always feel like she’s in my homeschooling corner. She helps me remember my “why,” and rediscover joy and contentment not only for myself but also for my kiddos even on the toughest homeschool day.

I’m also a big fan of The Homeschool Sisters Podcast and the Simple Homeschool for words of encouragement when homeschooling gets tough.

Take Your Vitamin N

Nature. When homeschooling gets hard, it is a soothing balm to the soul for my kiddos and me. Any time we wake up cranky, or I feel my emotions getting the better of me, we pack up our books and head out into the wild. Listening to the soothing sounds of water and the wind in the trees are all we need to turn our moods around.

Play Games

Playing favorite games is a great way to take the edge off a tough homeschool day. Games don’t judge, and they provide a stealthy way to work on early literacy, math, verbal communication, and cooperation skills. Plus, they help build family relationships while having fun!

Art

On those days or weeks when homeschooling throws you for a loop, art proves a beautiful way to both process and reconnect as a family. Why? Because art helps us calm down and focus. Our favorite art programs are You ARE an Artist Chalk Pastels and The Masterpiece Society Art Courses.

When the inevitable happens, and you lose control of your emotions, give yourself lots of grace and apologize to your kids. Ask for their forgiveness. After you’ve had time to cool down, talk with your kids about your frustrations and how you could have handled your anger better. Then put those words into practice.

Trust me; life will give you plenty of opportunities to practice.

How do you control your emotions when homeschooling gets hard?

4 Homeschool Worries You Can Kick to the Curb

October 2, 2018 By Kris Bales

Homeschooling parents are champion worriers. Those nagging homeschool worries keep us up at night and invade our thoughts during the day. Some of them, though, are really not worth the waste of mental energy.

The following are four homeschool worries you can kick to the curb!

4 Homeschool Worries You Can Kick to the Curb

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The (Somewhat) Distant Future

Somewhere around our 4th year of homeschooling, I wrote out a curriculum outline all the way through high school. My oldest child was probably in 5th grade. Fifth. I had a curriculum outline through high school.

I’ve had parents tell me that the most significant worry keeping them from homeschooling is that their child won’t be able to get into college. You know, when the kid is currently in 3rd grade.

People have asked how my kids will find dates or what they’ll do about prom. My kids were in elementary school at the time.

Y’all. I get it. Homeschooling is a huge responsibility. I do understand that high school and college are serious, sometimes scary worries.

I don’t understand so much about prom. Mine was far from magical and was certainly not the defining moment of my high school existence. (And, for the record, all of my kids have gone to prom. No, it wasn’t held in our living room.)

But, y’all. Let’s take things one step at a time. Sure, if you’re starting homeschool with a kid in 8th grade or higher, you’ll need to be thinking about high school and college pretty much right out of the gate.

However, if your student is in elementary school, you’ve got some time. You really can homeschool through high school. Your homeschool graduate really can go to college. And, if worse comes to worst, you can put your homeschooler back in public school.

That curriculum outline I wrote? We used the curriculum for a year or two before switching. Getting too far ahead of where we were was such a waste of time and mental energy.

Conserve mental energy. Worry about the year you’re teaching.

Education Gaps

What if I don’t teach my kids something that they really need to know?

I’m in a cold sweat watching “Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?” because I don’t remember all that stuff!

Breathe. If you teach your kids to read and how to find answers to their questions, you don’t have to worry too much about the education gaps that will occur.

That’s right. Education gaps will happen. No matter where your kid goes to school. The body of information in the world is too vast for one person to learn – or teach – it all. And, if you realize that you have failed to teach your kids something that they really do need to know, teach them. There is no expiration date on learning.

If you realize that you have failed to teach your kids something that they really do need to know, teach them. There is no expiration date on learning.

The reason most of the adults on that game show fare so poorly is that they haven’t heard or used much of that information since they were in elementary school. It’s not a part of their everyday lives, so it gets relegated to the part of the brain where pointless (or seldom-used) information resides.

You know what they’d do if they needed to know some of those facts for their jobs tomorrow? They’d Google it. Problem solved.

What to Teach When

When should I teach ancient history? The Middle Ages? U.S. history? Do I start in elementary school? Wait until middle school? Does it matter?!

No, it doesn’t matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. When I started homeschooling with Brianna, we started on a four-year classical history cycle fairly early on – but not right away. Not when you’re “supposed” to start the cycle. She was probably in 4th grade before we got there.

When Josh and Megan were in 3rd and 5th grades, we discovered Trail Guide to Learning. So, they were studying American history at the ages Brianna had studied ancient history and the Middle Ages.

No one seemed to have an edge on anyone else when we circled back around to those same history topics in high school. In fact, even though I’d been assured that I was placing “hooks” on which future information could be hung, they all seemed to have relegated most of those fun facts to the part of the brain where seldom-used information is stored. {sigh}

But, no worries. They learned it again in high school, and all is right with the world.

Now, concepts that build on previously learned concepts matter. You probably want to teach addition before multiplication. And high school students will need some algebra before tackling chemistry. I recommend teaching phonics and spelling in a specific order.

But history? Science? Jump into what sparks your kids’ interest and have fun!

Preschool Curriculum

Okay, so one of the search terms that led someone to my site recently was “How do I homeschool my 18-month old?”

I get that, too. I understand being excited to start homeschooling. But breathe. You homeschool your 18-month old by playing with her, reading to her, and involving her in your daily activities.

And, while there are lots of fun and exciting preschool homeschool curriculum options out there and there’s nothing wrong with using them if your child is ready, the best preschool curriculum is Play-Doh. And books. Always books.

Read. Play. Explore. Go on nature walks. Go to Story Time at the library. Bake cookies. Play restaurant. Have tea parties. Watch Leap Frog’s Letter Factory.

If you want to set up a cute little preschool learning center because it’s fun and your little one is interested, go for it! But don’t stress over preschool curriculum. Seriously. Enjoy that phase and soak up every moment of insatiable curiosity and non-stop talking, because if you blink, it will be over.

So, champion worrier, give yourself a break. Kick these homeschool worries to the curb.

What are some things you’ve have stressed about as a homeschooling parent that you later realized wasn’t worth the mental energy?

5 Important Skills You Need to Develop as a Homeschool Parent

The Best Things for Homeschooling Moms to Stop Doing

Things That Don’t Benefit Your Kids Educationally

Things That Don’t Matter to, Help, or Strengthen Your Family

Trying to Do Everything

Do Make Choices

Try These Tips

You Might Also Like

4 of the Best Reasons to Homeschool Dyslexic Students

Homeschool Provides One-on-One Instruction for Dyslexic Students

Homeschool Education Is Strengths-Based

Home Education Allows Movement and Tactile Learning

Homeschooling Increases a Dyslexic Child’s Confidence And Self-Perception

You Might Also Like

How to Control Your Anger When Homeschooling Gets Hard

We All Struggle with Our Emotions

Anger Management Strategies for Tough Homeschool Days

These helpful tips work for me when homeschooling get hard:

Other Helpful Anger Management Tips

Find Your Tribe

Take Your Vitamin N

Play Games

Art

You Might Also Like

4 Homeschool Worries You Can Kick to the Curb

The (Somewhat) Distant Future

Education Gaps

What to Teach When

Preschool Curriculum

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