I just finished a very interesting book: Lies that Homechooling Moms Believe by Todd Wilson. It was a quick, easy read that I picked up at the used book store while on my date with my husband last weekend. I paid too much for it (as in, almost new price), but that was okay because I had store credit. What is it about store credit that makes good financial sense fly out the window?
The back cover really got my attention:
Most homeschooling moms are prone to believing lies that say, you’re notgood enough…you aren’t qualified…and you are ruining your children.
Do you believe the lie that everyone’s…
- kids are smarter than yours
- house is cleaner than yours
- meals are better, healthier and more organic than yours?
- life is more disciplined and more spiritual than yours?
- house is more peaceful than yours?
- marriage is better than yours?
- doing a better job than you?
I mean, seriously, haven’t we all had those thoughts from time to time. Doesn’t the “am I doing enough” or the “I’m ruining my kids” monster rear his ugly head at least once a week — if not once a day — in your house like he does at mine?
The first thing I did was go through and read every last one of the cartoons. They are all hilarious, though, apparently, they’re only funny to the actual homeschooling parent because Brian just gave me that obligatory chuckle that people do when they know something is supposed to be funny, but they don’t really get it.
I’ll admit, I wasn’t too sure about the book in the first two sections. Some of it seemed a bit harsh and too much of a blanket generalization even though the author, a homeschool dad, is on “our” side. However, Part 3: The Real You and Part 4: The Lie-Busting Truth were really good.
In Part 3: The Real You, Mr. Wilson (or perhaps it should be Rev. Wilson, since he’s a former pastor??) reminds homeschooling moms to…
Among other things, being real means “admitting that you’d be ashamed if some of the vocabulary words you’ve taught your children were repeated.” (I’m being real when I say that I found that one terribly funny…though they’d have to be listening closely because those vocabulary words usually come out only under my breath and always under great duress.) It’s being honest about who we are, warts and all. More importantly, it’s confessing our shortcomings to trusted individuals – God, our spouse, a trusted friend – so that they can pray for us and we can experience the healing that God promises in the verse above.
Mr. Wilson Rev. Wilson Todd reminds us that the flip side of being real with others is that they can be real with us. We can pray for them. They can experience the freedom and healing that comes from having someone with whom they can be their authentic self. While we all know that we tend to compare ourselves – usually negatively – to others, we tend to forget that we can say and do things that cause others to compare themselves negatively to us…and to feel discouraged.
In Part 4: The Lie-Busting Truth, my good friend, Todd shares the two things that encouraged me the most. First, God gave my children exactly the mother they needed and, second, my children will become exactly what God created them to be.
God knew my strengths as well as my weaknesses and in spite of – or because of – that, He gave my children to me. I don’t need to compare myself or my children to any of my friends or their children. I don’t need to compare my homeschool to anyone else’s. God knew what He was going when He gave my children to me.
And, I’m not going to ruin these children He gave to me. Just as an apple seed grows into an apple tree and a peach seed grows into a peach tree, my children will grow into the adults God has purposed them to be. A friend and I have discussed this very truth on a couple of occasions. Her homeschool is much different than mine, but that’s okay because God knew the type of education and skills each of our children would need to grow into the men and women He created them to be.
There was also an “ouch” moment tucked it there. Here’s the part where I’m being real. The author said, “No one is any better or worse than I am. No exceptions.” Ouch. I was shocked to realize that I sometimes I do that. I was shocked to have to admit that, buried somewhere in the darker part of me, there is that person who sometimes looks for someone who is worse than me.
Come on, surely it’s not just me. When we’re playing that comparison game, doesn’t it make us feel better when we find someone who makes us feel like we’re the one with it all together, even if we’re grasping and straws and zeroing in on a tiny little area of weakness? The truth is, though, we’re all gifted in different ways. There is really no better or worse. Just different.
Although I didn’t agree with everything in the book, Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, it was definitely good food for thought and much of it was very encouraging. It comes complete with a study guide for homeschool groups, making it a unique discussion activity for a support group meeting. I notice on my good friend, Todd’s (no, I don’t know him from Adam) site that you can buy the book in bulk for support group meetings at about half the regular price.
So, if you’re looking for a quick, easy read to refresh you on your homeschooling journey, you might want to check out Lies Homeschooling Moms Believe, by Todd Wilson.
**This is not a compensated review. I purchased this book myself.**
Kris Bales is a newly-retired homeschool mom and the quirky, Christ-following, painfully honest founder (and former owner) of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. She has a pretty serious addiction to sweet tea and Words with Friends. Kris and her husband of over 30 years are parents to three amazing homeschool grads. They share their home with three dogs, two cats, a ball python, a bearded dragon, and seven birds.