Homeschool: It’s the Goodest (and other things homeschool moms shouldn’t say)

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Sometimes, when I’m brainstorming post topic ideas, I’ll check the search terms that brought visitors to my blog. I usually come up with a topic before working on titles, but when I saw the search term “homeschool its the goodest” in my Google Analytics, I immediately knew that it would be the title of a blog post some day. I mean, seriously, those words just beg to be written about, do they not?

Humor for homeschooling moms (and dads) from Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers

As an aside, that same day I also came across, “How do you know if you’re valedictorian if you’re homeschooled.” Let me just answer that before moving on. To determine if you’re the valedictorian of your homeschool, start counting. If you don’t get past “one” in your class (grade level), congratulations! It’s you!

However, if you’re one of a set of twins, triplets, quads, etc., or you have adopted siblings who share your grade level, ask your mom.

Homeschool moms can’t make grammar errors or typos

So, anyway, back to homeschool its the goodest. Homeschool moms (and dads), that’s something we can’t say. You see, it’s (meaning “it is”) has an apostrophe and goodest? Well, that’s not even a word.

We also can’t say things like: There going over their to get they’re dog.

Nope. Not ever. Not even in a hastily typed Facebook status update. Not even if you know how to correctly use there/their/they’re under normal circumstances. Homeschool moms cannot make typos.


Because, if you do, people are going to shake their heads and say, “And she homeschools her kids?”

And, don’t think you can just go edit that erroneous Facebook message. Nope. The whole world can look at your edit log and the truth will be revealed.

I can’t say something like “us homeschooling moms,” in my we-don’t-always-speak-the-Queen’s-English Southern dialect. That should be “we homeschooling moms,” y’all. And the whole world is judging all of us by my grammar and spelling. Well, maybe not the whole world – part of them are judging all of us on your grammar and spelling.

Homeschool moms can’t make math mistakes either

Did I ever tell you that I’m a bit math phobic? I hate keeping score for games because people are watching me add and it still freaks me out. (I like to blame it on my 6th grade teacher. She was mean.)

Now, I’ll confess that most math concepts (including metric conversions, algebra, and geometry) make a lot more sense now that I’m an adult, but sometimes I still get that deer-in-the-headlights look when I’m put on the spot about math. I have been known to say, “That’s why my kids do math on the computer.” (Thank you, Teaching Textbooks.)


image courtesy of pixabay

You’ve got to be careful, though. If you make a math mistake, it’s a commentary on all homeschooling parents. I’d advise you to be safe and just pull out your calculator, but that can backfire. If the people around you deem the calculation too basic for a calculator, you’re going to risk those shaking heads and clucking tongues again.

“And, she homeschools her kids?”

Homeschool moms can’t admit fear or doubt

We’ve got to give the appearance of having it all together at all times, homeschool moms.  If you admit to any type of doubt or fear about homeschooling, there is going to be some naysayer ready to swoop in with the I-told-you-so’s.

Clearly, if you have a moment of doubt, you must be failing your child. Parents whose kids go to public or private school are completely immune to fear and doubt. Worrying about your kids is not universal; it’s exclusive to homeschool moms. (That was meant to be sarcastic, just in case you weren’t sure. Don’t be hating in the comments.)

Never mind the fact that there may be another homeschool mom who’s had the same doubts, fears, and struggles who could encourage you.

Never mind that you might run the risk of making other homeschool moms think that they’re the only ones who ever doubt or fear. We can’t give the naysayers a foothold. Homeschool is the goodest.


There is never, ever a bad homeschool day. There are no hard homeschool days. It’s all rainbows and unicorns.

“And, she homeschools her kids?”

Come on, y’all. Let’s get real.

I’ve been lovingly dubbed The English Major in my family. I am the human spell-check. Do you know what? I still make spelling and grammar mistakes. There is probably a typo in this post despite the fact that I proofread it at least three times before hitting publish.

I took advanced algebra in high school and advanced chemistry in college. I graduated near the top of my high school class. Those subjects still give me hives. That doesn’t mean that I’m stupid or that I’m unqualified to teach my kids. It might mean that taking the course alongside my kids would be a brilliant idea. It might mean that I should find a tutor. It definitely means that I think a computer math course is an excellent idea.

Fear and doubt? We all experience those things, wherever our kids go to school. Yes, it can be scary to admit them, especially when there are people just waiting to tear you down (sometimes right in your own family or homeschool community). However, when we’re authentic with each other, we often find support and encouragement. We discover that we’re not alone.

We may even discover that the commonalities of parenting are more binding than our educational choices are divisive.

Homeschooling. It really is the goodest. Most days. And, hey, how many people do you know who can say all their kids were class valedictorian? (Sorry to you moms of multiples.)

What else have you discovered that homeschooling moms (or dads) can’t do?

This post is linked to the Hip Homeschool Hop.

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Kris Bales is a newly-retired homeschool mom and the quirky, Christ-following, painfully honest founder (and former owner) of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. She has a pretty serious addiction to sweet tea and Words with Friends. Kris and her husband of over 30 years are parents to three amazing homeschool grads. They share their home with three dogs, two cats, a ball python, a bearded dragon, and seven birds.

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  1. We have a running joke around here. I do or say something ridiculous, Jesse looks scandalized, and I taunt him. “I’m teaching your children MATH (or science, or whatever relevant subject I just flubbed)!”

  2. Yes to all of the above – although when hit with the math question I usually say that my FIL is a retired high school math teacher and then change the subject really quickly.

    We have a running joke in our house about things being so great that they’re “awesometastical”. I can highly recommend not accidentally saying it at a book club meeting containing 3 school teachers, right after they find out that your children are homeschooled.

  3. Once someone said to my daughter who was 6 at the time “Is homeschooling good?” “No, it’s the goodest.” That is a running joke around here.

  4. Yikes! I just love your snarky humor … really 🙂

    I’m a first time homeschool mom and I’m a little freaked out about people judging MY competence level … I try to reassure them (and myself) by saying that I feel qualified to teach 3rd and 4th graders.

    1. Merri Ann,
      You don’t have to feel qualified, you ARE qualified! You taught them how to speak, how to walk, how to be pottytrained, etc. Take it one day at a time, enjoy your children, and don’t stress out about math and English (or whatever other subject causes you to break out in hives). YOU CAN DO THIS!!! 🙂 Congratulations on beginning the journey of a lifetime!

  5. I am sometimes astounded by the way some people I’m friends with jump on every grammar error someone they don’t like makes and make comments like, “How is she homeschooling her kids?” It’s kind of annoying.

    Now, that being said: our local news had a story that involved a mention of homeschooling on their Facebook page. I am not kidding when I say that every single person that commented pro homeschooling had at least one (but usually more) glaring grammar error. It made my stomach churn. I wanted to yell at the screen, “Please don’t try to be a spokesperson for the merits of homeschooling.” Sadly, if someone thinks homeschooling has no merit, a slew of badly written comments in support of it just cinch that belief. (And it still cinches that belief even when some of the anti-homeschooling sentiments were just as grammatically poor.)

    1. Yes, I have had that same stomach-clinching reaction when I’ve seen glaring grammar and spelling errors. People are judging.

  6. I read recently that (in the 90s I think) teachers were surveyed about various math problems and asked things like, “Why do you multiply to find the area of a rectangle?” The majority of them couldn’t provide a correct answer. As long as I can do that, I figure my kids wont be any worse off than public students.

    1. Okay, I actually do know the answer to that one because, of all things, lots of math formulas stuck with me from school. That being said, that kind of question would probably cause me to break out in hives.

  7. I actually am a certified Language Arts teacher who homeschools so I REALLY have to watch how I post on FB and in text messages and on my own website (sheesh!), and the biggest nay-sayers that I have are my own family. They are also the biggest distraction to our homeschooling process because, since my father is retired and can’t get around very well, he believes that since we are home, we are at his disposal to do whatever it is that he needs to do, to run whatever errands he needs to run. So, one thing that I would suggest homeschoolers should never do is…NEVER, not even once, allow your day to be interrupted by someone else to help them with chores or errands UNLESS it is a day that you have already planned to be out and about or it is an emergency. Otherwise, it becomes an expectation and you end up getting taken for granted.

  8. Oh. My. Gosh. Thank you!! I am the worlds worst grammar person ever…. and have been known to type something on FB, or my blog and edit it later. I have literally had people leave comments over a typo (oh, and you homeschool….) Drives me nuts! But, I am always second guessing myself because heaven forbid I be the one who gives homeschoolers a bad name!! Anyway, great post. Thank you!

  9. Bad grammar makes me laugh/cringe. All the grammar laws are engraved in my memory. I had to sit in the desk directly in front of our middle school English teacher. I couldn’t forget if I wanted to. People love to ask if I am going to homeschool through high school. My kids are 4 and 6. We have awhile.

  10. You hit that nail on the head. Pretty sure you hammer, too. That their, there, they’re thing when writing a hasty FB status. Oh that gets me! When I realize I’ve mistyped, I sort of panic inside, knowing SOMEONE out there is, at the least, thinking, “And she HOMESCHOOLS her kids?”

  11. I explain that just because I don’t personally know the rules or use them sometimes doesn’t mean my kids suffer. we make use of all the awesome supplements out there.( i mispronounce some words on purpose because its fun like subtle i say sub tle not sutle there is a b LOL)

    My son is doing math way over my head ( i stopped at basic algebra) we use Khan academy videos on youtube they walk him through any and all math from 1+1=2 all the way to calculus and physics.

    I also learned some people will try to tear you down even if your stephan hawkings smart so i ignore them the best i can.

  12. This post made me LOL. 😉 I can’t speak correctly. My husband has always made fun of me. I blame it on the fact that I have Newfoundlanders and French family, who can speak with all that in their head?! But I still correct my kids.

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