Just when you start to feel like you’ve got this whole homeschooling thing under control, along comes high school – which also means teenagers. Are you homeschooling a high schooler? Here are ten surefire signs that you are.
1. You haven’t had a photo of your teen’s actual smiling face since the preteen years.
You have beautiful children. You know you do. But you can’t prove it to anyone because all you have are 9,000 pictures of them with dog ears, noses, and tongues, your beautiful baby puking rainbows, or – my personal favorite – the eye rolling, tongue lolling out, peace sign pose.
Or, they have their faces covered by their hands altogether.
The notable exceptions to no photos thing are the obligatory holiday photos. Even teenagers know that you have to smile for a picture with your mama on Mother’s Day.
2. You used to have trouble getting them to sleep past 7 AM. Now the problem is getting them to go to bed before 7 AM.
Or awake before noon. That’s a challenge, too. It’s probably directly related to the not going to bed until the wee hours of the morning thing.
3. Cute, Pinterest-worthy craft projects are a thing of the past.
Because, seriously, nobody wants to pin photos of your frog dissection. Okay, maybe the other parents who are homeschooling high schoolers, but everybody else thinks you’re pretty gross.
4. You’re now on a first-name basis with Google.
I mean, you know, figuratively speaking since, to my knowledge, Google doesn’t have a last name. These days you just wish you were still stepping on scattered math manipulatives. Now, you’ve got to turn to Google to figure out how to do your teen’s math so you can help him with it.
5. Car parts have replaced LEGOs.
Speaking of scattered math manipulatives, remember when you were constantly dodging LEGOs in the floor? Now, it’s car parts (or guitars or whatever your teen is into). Sometimes big ones.
And when your teen girl talks about wings, she’s not doing a unit study on birds. You’ve got to get that makeup just right, you know.
6. Now you get to give credit for cooking and doing laundry!
Who needs a chore chart with your kid can earn high school credit for cooking, cleaning, and doing laundry? Home Ec, which I’m told is now called Family And Consumer Sciences, is a valid elective, y’all.
“Hey, kid, do you want to fail Home Ec Family and Consumer Sciences?? Then, get your laundry done!”’
7. You are very familiar with the sound of crickets chirping.
Because, seriously, once those homeschoolers hit the high school years, blogs, social media, and homeschool groups are so quiet, you can hear the crickets chirping.
Hello? Is anybody here? Where did everybody go? Is this thing on?
8. You may still consider taking a sedative before a field trip, but it’s for an entirely different reason.
Back in the old days, you may have – jokingly or otherwise – considered the need for a sedative before a field trip so that you could handle all those weird, unsocialized homeschool kids. Especially when it came time to try to get them to walk in a single-file line.
Now, you don’t need a sedative because of all the little kids but because your teen wants to drive you to the field trip.
9. The “S” question gets replaced with the “P” question.
You start to get a break from the socialization question but only because it gets replaced with something of even more epic importance.
“What about prom??”
Because apparently everyone’s prom was the apex of their lives up and your kids will never recover from not having one. You know, even though homeschoolers totally have prom. No, not in their living rooms.
10. You’re afraid to blink.
Because, seriously, you’ve already seen how fast the years fly by. Undoubtedly, one blink and the four years of homeschooling high school will be gone.
Are you homeschooling high schoolers? What significant changes have you noticed?