Weird, Unsocialized Homeschooler: Conversations at the Craft Store

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Weird, Unsocialized Homeschooler: Conversations at the Craft Store This is how you awkward. Click to Tweet

We’ve been homeschooling since the end of 2016 and, after hearing all the stories of boundaries blurred by passersby onto the unsuspecting rogue human- also known as the wild homeschooler– I’ve been waiting for our moment.

The one where a stranger goes straight for the homeschooling jugular.

And then, I’d have to adjust my denim skirt and get all my charts and statistics on the greatness of being a homeschooler from our 42 passenger van, before we head back to the prairie for more book-learnin’ with Pa.

But, still we wait!

Before that-which-shall-not-be-named changed all of 2020, I thought that moment had crept in on us.

All these littles and I headed to the craft store in the middle of a Tuesday when public schools had just started back. I needed to make my Buddy the Elf front door wreath because, after seeing the tutorial on Pinterest, I physically could not restrain myself from putting something so miraculous on our front door.

We’re cruising the aisles, all these babies of mine with their, “be chill” bribe-snacks in hand, when I notice, out of my peripheral vision, we’d gained an eavesdropper.

I silently express oodles of gratitude that our conversation had been polite, and much less, “Where are all the places hair can grow?”

Our aisle-mate finally comes over and breaks the ice with interest in my project. I immediately notice her gentle presence and how sweetly she spoke to my littles.

No jugular attacks!

* roundhouse kicks of excitement *

She’s impressed with what my kids know and how courteous they are in conversation. I could feel it. Here it comes.

She looks at me, big, genuine smile on her face, and it’s palpable that not only is she not going to be one of those aggressive strangers with an ax to grind, but…

…she is getting ready to, unknowingly, pacify the quiet-yet-typical, mama-fear that I’ll somehow still screw it all up.

“Ya know, I bet you homeschool!” she says.

YES! Yes I do, sweet yarn-purchasing stranger! We are the family of the untamed students, out in their natural habitat…the world! We’re normal, nice even! We can function like anyone else! Let’s change the stereotypical narrative of homeschooling together! Tell the others!

Me, bracing for the sweet nothings that are going to right all the things, “Yes, ma’am! We do! What makes you guess that?”

Her, clearly realizing she’s speaking to a person who deserved a gold medal in overthinking the situation,

“Because you’re all out shopping at 1:30.”

Swing and a miss.

**cartwheels off pedestal**

Good luck, Children, with your weird, unsocialized mama!

Now, go churn some butter with Pa.

Tell us about your own moment as a weird, unsocialized homeschooler so we can laugh (or cry!) with you!

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Hi, I'm Samantha! I get to be married to my delicious high school sweetheart, and we've made 4 of the most rad humans to ever grace the planet. I have a BS in psychology, am a proud veteran's wife, & believe there's nothing that can't be solved by a hot shower and a marathon of Friends. I love Jesus, Joanna Gaines, babies, & Trader Joe's.

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One Comment

  1. Tonight, while watching our church’s softball league. A gentleman we dont know very well, sat down with us. Asking about the kids and I. He looked at my son, who I should mention, is on the spectrum- as cut and dry as you can get- no nonsense answers only please and says “so what grade are you in this year.” (His wife who is a public school teacher and all kids need to be in a school building) Zack looks at him and says “hmmm, I guess I don’t know. 7…maybe 8th grade? Maybe 9th. I dont know.” This gentleman laughs and says “I bet youre homeschooled right? I can see how those grades blur together. Have you always been homeschooled?” I immediately groan, because of course we are homeschooled. Do you see my gray?
    Zack responds with “no not always. I think I had mrs. yo for a little bit in kindergarten.(the gentlemans wife) but I wasnt ready for it, so I got sent home. I went back the next year, but I dont think I was ready then either. So now we are home. And I like it better, because mom helps me understand when its hard.”
    The gentleman said “you know? Sometimes that happens and thats ok. Im glad your mom helps you understand.”
    I was immediately waiting for the guilt trip, but instead was made to feel like we are doing the right thing .

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