How to Spot a Homeschool Mom
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When most people talk about “homeschoolers,” they’re probably referring to kids who are homeschooled. But that’s only one side of the equation. For a child to be homeschooled, there needs to be a homeschooling parent. And usually, it’s a homeschool mom.
As any homeschool family will tell you, homeschooling is a lifestyle as much as it is a form of education, and it’s one that impacts parents just as much as kids (maybe even more)! This edition of “How to Spot a Homeschooler” pays tribute to that reality.
So far in this series, we’ve talked about how you can spot a homeschooler by how we dress, how we make friends, and even by some of the weird things you’ll find in homeschooling houses. But today’s article is all about how to spot a homeschool mom! (Sorry in advance to the dedicated homeschool dads out there. This one is for the mamas.)
If you’ve read other articles in this series, you may have noticed that I (a homeschooling alum and current homeschooling mom) put my own quirks and stories solidly under the homeschooler umbrella when talking about “How you can Spot a Homeschooler.” But do I do this because I was formerly a homeschooled kid or because I am currently a homeschooling parent? To be honest, I don’t even know which one makes me more of a “homeschooler.”
But that’s a point I want to make here …
As far as I’m concerned, homeschooling moms are a type of “homeschooler,” too. Consequently, there are few things about the homeschool lifestyle that reflect and shape the people we are. And while there are all kinds of diverse homeschool moms out there, there are a few things that I suspect we have in common. Here are a few ways you can spot a homeschool mom!
1. Homeschool moms prioritize quality time.
Some melancholy but wise person once pointed out that we have 18 summers with our children (while they are still children). Homeschooling moms tend to appreciate that concept fully. We want to be there for all the big moments, to help with the challenges, to shape education, and to create memories that will last forever. Quality time with our kids is—without a doubt—one of our top priorities.
Most homeschooling families and moms make plenty of financial and/or personal sacrifices to make that priority a reality. Many of us even give up the option of a full-time career so that we can homeschool our kids. And while I’ve heard some people say that you “have to be rich to homeschool,” that is untrue.
For most of the homeschooling people I know, the financial sacrifice that homeschooling can require is not an easy thing at all. It often involves tight budgeting and cutting out extra things that many other families enjoy. Or maybe you are a working and homeschooling mama (or are otherwise fine financially.) Even then, homeschooling involves personal sacrifice. Managing a work/homeschool/life balance can be stressful, not leaving much time or space for the autonomous moments that moms need sometimes.
There are all kinds of sacrifices made when you choose to homeschool, and it’s okay to recognize that (I think it’s important, even!) However, the point here is that homeschooling moms still choose to do it anyway. To the homeschooling mom, the quality time you get to spend with your kids, raising and teaching them, is absolutely worth those sacrifices. I really think most of us would say that quality time with our kids is our greatest treasure.
2. Homeschool moms are moms to all!
Many homeschooling relational dynamics are built from the model of the family. One fascinating result of this is that your kids might be friends with older kids, or younger kids, or an entire family of siblings. Weirder still (to many): homeschooled kids and teens tend to talk to adults…like actual people…with feelings and thoughts and everything!
The result? If you’re lucky enough to have a solid homeschool community or support system, it means that you have a village—a network of “framilies”—that you can lean on. And within these kinds of trusted and well-established “framily” settings, a homeschooling mom is a mom to all.
Now, I don’t mean this in a weird or cult-y kind of way. I just mean that, when you’re good friends with another homeschooling family, you sort of adopt one another. The kids from that family may establish you in their minds as a trustworthy adult who will look out for them, instead of just vaguely as “someone else’s mom.”
And you, the homeschooling mom, will always keep an eye out for their kids. You may pack extra snacks for them, or talk to them when you notice they are feeling down (or encourage your child to do so). If you’re like me, you’ll also expect them to respect you, too. If you have a good homeschool mom friend, you may even occasionally (or regularly) help teach each other’s kids.
If this isn’t something you’ve experienced yet, it may just be that you haven’t found your homeschool people. That’s okay. It might take a little trial and error to connect with some other people who are “your kind of weird,” but I promise you—it’s worth it to try.
3. Homeschool moms are adventurous rebels.
Whether you are a perfectionistic professional, a Maria Von Trapp type, a glamorous influencer, or a tough, homesteading pioneer, I have news for you. If you’re a homeschooling mom, you are a rebel.
Even though the percentage of families who homeschool has been on the rise over the last few years, homeschoolers still only account for about 5% of students in the United States. Those who choose to homeschool are very much going against the flow. Often, we even choose this less-taken path under the confused, skeptical gaze of friends and family. But we do it anyway. That takes some guts!
Regardless of our specific reason(s) for homeschooling, the decision to homeschool is always based on the certainty that we know what’s best for our kids, and the resolve that we’ll have to figure some things out as we go.
It’s uncertain terrain, and you are a fearless explorer.
If adventure is an attitude, we homeschooling moms have it.
There are so many different kinds of homeschool moms, but these are some of the common qualities I have found in the ones that I know best! What did you think of this list? What would you add based on your own experiences?
Katie Gustafson has been a member of the world of “weird, unsocialized homeschoolers” for a long time–first as an alumnus and now as a homeschooling mom to a fiercely fun little girl! She’s very into anything creative, especially writing, dancing, and painting. She’s also particularly passionate about literature and owns more books than she will probably ever be able to read. However, she reassures herself with the belief that, in the event of a digital apocalypse, she’s cultivating a much-needed physical library for future generations. Katie is happy to contribute articles to Weird Unsocialized Homeschoolers, Hip Homeschool Moms and Sparketh. She also has a personal blog on writewhereuare.com.