10 Funny Things People Think, Say, and Ask about Homeschooling

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Every so often, I bring y’all some humor courtesy of the Google keyword searches that lead people to my site. Here’s another dose of funny questions about homeschooling.

For the record, lest someone accuse me of being snarky, I do realize that some of these are legitimate questions that just struck me as funny. Because I’m weird. And, I like to laugh. Y’all already knew that about me, didn’t you?

Funny Questions About Homeschooling

1. I’m so tired of hearing about homeschooling.

Here’s a tip: Don’t read homeschool blogs.

2. Are homeschooled kids weird?

Seriously. Every single time I look at my keyword searches. I think it’s been well-established that homeschooling parents have to work hard if they want to produce really weird homeschooled kids.

3. Do I need to teach my 6th grader for homeschooling?

Yes. If you’re going to homeschool, you really should teach your kids. It’s kind of important.

4. Do homeschoolers get sick days?

Only when they’re sick. When that happens, try these tips for homeschool sick days. And, if they’re trying to call in sick, but they’re really not, you may all need a mental health day.

Funny Questions About Homeschooling

5. Homeschooled kids didn’t learn to skip.

Um, okay. This is a problem? If it is, try this how to skip tutorial. Seriously, there is a YouTube video for everything.

6. How do you tell people you homeschool?

Okay, are you ready? Here goes. We homeschool. It’s really that simple. I mean, I get that it can be difficult if you’ve got relatives and friends who are hostile about homeschooling. That’s when you offer to pass the bean dip or see if you can adapt some of these tips for dealing with math-quizzing relatives during the holidays for year round use.

7. How to have a crush if you’re homeschooled.

I checked with Megan, my 14-year-old, on this because she has had plenty of crushes. She said as long as you don’t have a crush on your homeschool classmates (a.k.a. your siblings), you should be fine.

8. Moody preteen and homeschool.

I’m not sure what, exactly, this person was trying to find, but I just had to say, whoever you are, I feel your pain. I have so been there. My kids would probably say that same thing about the search phrase moody mom and homeschool, though, so I guess we’re even.

9. What do homeschoolers need?

A little love. Some understanding. A nap would be nice. And, sweet tea. Lots of sweet tea.

10. How does a homeschooling mom have free time?

Graduate your kids. Just kidding. Mostly.

What funny things have people said or asked you about homeschooling?

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Kris Bales is a newly-retired homeschool mom and the quirky, Christ-following, painfully honest founder (and former owner) of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers. She has a pretty serious addiction to sweet tea and Words with Friends. Kris and her husband of over 30 years are parents to three amazing homeschool grads. They share their home with three dogs, two cats, a ball python, a bearded dragon, and seven birds.

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  1. The funniest thing anyone ever asked was directed at my then-12-yr.-old daughter. A neighbor asked if she knew how to read. (This despite the fact that my kids love to read aloud outside on nice days. Sigh.) As for your #2- this one always gets me because it makes me think of the boy in my high school AP English class that used to drool on his papers every day in class. That’s proof right there that weirdness can happen anywhere regardless of how you are schooled.

  2. It wasn’t so much what was asked about homeschooling, more of HOW a person asked it…
    We found out that we would be moving across the state not long after we decided to homeschool. While discussing the school districts in our new area, an acquaintance looked at me and commented, “So now you won’t have to, you know, homeschool.” She actually whispered the word homeschool, like it was bad! And, we still homeschool, and live in a really good school district. Our decision obviously wasn’t based on that particular issue.

    1. Oh, the mental image of the acquaintance whispering homeschool like it was a profanity. Hilarious! 🙂

  3. Haha Skipping! I had to go to remedial gym class in 1st grade public school because I didn’t know how to skip. (rather emotionally traumatic for me, btw) So, homeschoolers don’t corner the market in that area. 😉

    1. Remedial gym class? I had no idea there was such a thing. Wow. You did learn to skip, though, right? And you’ve successfully made it to adulthood? 😉

      1. I know, right?! Hence the trauma. 😀 I can skip now and have even taught my children, who are homeschooled. It’s a modern miracle really. 😉

        1. Oh, thank goodness. I’m so relieved. And the fact that your kids can skip proves that you are qualified to teach them. Way to go! 😉

          1. I read that point as learning to skip class like it is some right of passage! Ha! It will definitely be hard to skip class at home!

    2. I had to do remedial skipping in Kindergarten! I was given special “homework” for it and everything. 🙂 I too survived into adulthood and even feel qualified (mostly) to teach my own kids. I may hire a special skipping tutor though…..

        1. I had to laugh as at first I thought in regard to the question above the one about skipping school that it meant they wouldn’t know how to skip SCHOOL, work or whatever. It took me a bit to realize that you meant literally skipping!

  4. That….was…HILARIOUS. 😀 I once had someone ask “How will your kids ever learn to wait in line and take turns?” Ummm….ever been to Wal Mart? The grocery store? The bank? ‘Nuff said…. 😉

      1. Us too! That’s exactly what happened – someone said I needed to enroll my kids in public school so they can learn to wait in line, and shortly after that, we went to Disney World for a week. HA! (And hello – unless you have an only child, your kids are going to learn to take turns with each other. Stupidness.)

  5. I love these posts. I read #7 and about died laughing. It made me think of our 14 year old baby-sitter who also homeschools (which is why we can have a sitter in the middle of the day!). And she is so unsocialized that we have trouble getting her to come on non-scheduled days; she is always having some group, rehearsal or some such thing. Pft.

  6. This was great. My favorite was number 5. Seriously what does knowing how to skip have to do with homeschooling. Then I cracked up more with you learn how skip youtube video. Thanks for the chuckle today.

  7. When I read “home schooled kids didn’t learn to skip” I thought it meant skipping class. As in “Bobby and I skipped last period to go to his house and play video games “

    1. Me, too! Then I realized that they were talking about skipping – the physical movement! I had no idea that was something you would not learn if you homeschooled. I’ll have to ask my four homeschool graduates if they know how to skip!

  8. That skipping one cracks me up. I realized my son had no idea what jumping jacks were when the coach used them for soccer warm up last spring. He also doesn’t know the Pledge of Allegiance or what to during it. Never occurred to me that it might be good to teach him so he didn’t appear disrespectful. My daughter knew these things from going to Kindergarten at a private school.

  9. I was asked how my kids would ever be able to get up and go to work on time if I didn’t wake them and make them get up on time to make it to school in the morning… apparently this is a really tough skill that takes YEARS to master.

    1. My response to that particular comment is now ” I don’t know…how will your kids ever deal with not having the Summers off when they are working? ” 😉

  10. Sweet tea! YES! I told someone I homeschool, and they asked me who I had the kids with? I didn’t even know how to answer! I mean, they are with me, I teach them, so I decided maybe she meant curriculum, and told her we used a variety of things.I didn’t get any more questions, so it was a win for me wither way!

  11. I home school now and have for the last two years. We are really enjoying it. Public school wasn’t serving us well. BTW, I homeschool my grandkids, who I’ve been raising since they were babies and are now 9 and 11. When I told the principal of the public school that I would be homeschooling them, she said, “Well, I don’t know much about homeschooling, but I am worried about them, about their socialization.” What? They weren’t being socialized there?? This is an aside, but have to tell it! I felt that I had made the right decision one day during the last two weeks of their public school experience when one of the moms at the bus stop said to me: “Do your grandkids get you up in the morning?” (Now, mind you, we have lived in the area for years and she is fully aware that we raise grandkids).I explained that I get up before them and get them up after doing some household chores. She then said, “Oh, wow, I wish my mom would come over and get my kids up and off to school for me.” At that point I figured the kids would have a better chance at home than public school.

    1. Oh Annie….I would have whispered to her softly….does it hurt your brain when you tie your shoes?????LOL Still laughing over that one.

  12. I find coffee to be my drink of choice. Believe it or not coffee actually calms me. Loved the one about the relatives and holiday math quizzes. Been there and done that. Happy homeschooling!

  13. My older boys attended public school…my youngest son, born 14 yrs later, (surprise!) Is homeschooled. All three are weird! It’s genetics! Lol I love that one! The biggest thing that makes them weird by society’s norm? Try have manners. Always. It’s not an option!

  14. I have to say that I haven’t heard most of these and I was homeschooled myself. However, they really are very funny. I was the only one of myself and 3 siblings who were homeschooled from K-12. My siblings all went to Private School at some point. I am definitely, by far, the most outgoing.

  15. HA! So right on! Number 5 especially. In our house, when something breaks we youtube how to fix it, we want to learn some new art project? there’s a youtube for that. My kids think youtube knows how to do anything. And it pretty much does.

    1. Yep. We have replaced broken laptop screens, replaced break lights on the car, installed dog doors, and dozens of other projects with the help of YouTube.

  16. Although most people’s responses are somewhere between aloofly polite to downright positive, the most memorable exchange I’ve had is pretty funny in hindsight. Another mom and I had struck up a conversation at the library when she eventually asked where my kids went to to school. After revealing our true identity [weird, unsocialized homeschoolers, of course] her friendly tone froze to solid ice. While simultaneously gathering her children under her protective wings, she literally hissed at me, “Then why do you live here??? You should move to another town so somebody who appreciates this school district can have a spot!” I was momentarily taken aback, but recovered enough to sweetly reply, “Don’t worry, we’ll keep paying our property tax to fund your children’s school, but you’ll never be required to pay a dime towards ours.” Guess my son won’t be invited to her kid’s birthday party this year…

  17. The funniest thing I’ve ever been asked is “BUT HOW WILL YOU DO LABS?!” OH NO! We can’t possibly homeschool now. What will I do?!

  18. The most interesting thing a parent of a private school student said to me was that it’s “so expensive to homeschool”. I simply stated that I’m sure I have spent less money on curricula this school year than she’s spent for one month of private school. ?

  19. I had a lady from our church ask me how our son would be able to get along in the world if he didn’t go to 8th grade at the middle school. Much better I hope. They don’t get snow days either. 😉 But we do occasionally take a “nice” day.

    1. We take “snow days” to go sledding / skiing once the public school kids are back in school. We also skip the one off teacher conference days and other random holidays in favor of a week long fall break.

  20. We have an only child. She’s 3.5 and I already get asked “she’s not in school?!” and I’m like “did you miss the 3.5 part? Also, she won’t ever be going to ‘school’ since we’ll be homeschooling her”. She has been painfully shy around stranger since she was 4 months old and they feel that the best way to address it is to dump her somewhere where she won’t have the safety of coming to my husband or myself when she feels she needs a break. Sorry, not how we’re raising her. She goes to karate class once a week, art class and library time plus spends time with her cousins. She has grown so much in just the last year and I know she will continue to grow and all that, just like her academic learning, will happen at her own pace while feeling supported by us.

    I was a professional school counselor and now I am a full time professor for a masters in educational counseling program at a private university. I don’t believe you need any of that to teach your kids and it’s so amazing to me that I get asked “how will you teach her?!”

  21. All of this is hilarious!!!! I have a relative that used to ask me when my daughter would go to “real school”? Oh man….for years….and never bothered to research homeschooling so she could know a little bit of what she was talking about….gotta love those family gatherings.

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