NOTE: This article was written by Kris, the founder and previous owner of Weird, Unsocialized Homeschoolers.
So, what’s with this blog and all this Twilight stuff? Okay, honestly, this blog has very little to do with Twilight, other than the fact that I needed some type of incentive. See, I have nearly 100 pounds that I need to lose. Yep, you read that right. One hundred pounds. And when I say nearly, I mean like 95 pounds to reach my goal weight. Oh, and, no, I’m not exaggerating or setting unreasonable goals. A 95-pound weight loss would put me right in the middle of my healthy range.
I’m not proud of that fact and I’m not going to get into the how’s and why’s in this post. For the moment, it is what it is and, I’ll tell you, I’m tired of being overweight. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of being ashamed. I’m tired of being unmotivated to change. I’m tired of making excuses.
But, talking about losing weight is a whole lot easier than doing it, especially when the goal seems overwhelming to the point of being insurmountable. Especially when the possibility of failure is more likely than the possibility of success. Especially when you’ve tried and failed. Surprisingly enough, lying in bed watching Biggest Loser each week doesn’t really help you lose weight.
So, why the Twilight theme? Why the blog name “Eclipsed’? A few reasons. A couple of insignificant reasons are: 1) someone sent me the link to a couple of Twilight blog templates a few weeks ago and I thought that if I ever got an opportunity, I’d like to use one and 2) I love the Twilight books and movies, so I thought it’d be fun to come up with some sort of cute play on that theme or the book titles.
The more significant reasons are:
1) I needed a goal. I don’t have a class reunion on my horizons, no cruises or exotic vacations. Heck, I’m not even going to Blissdom or BlogHer. There is nothing especially interesting and goal-worthy in my immediate future. However, I went to see New Moon (which was incredibly fabulous, btw) on opening night and there were lots of moms in cute Twilight t-shirts.
Now, they do sell these shirts in plus sizes, but I don’t want to buy a plus size shirt. I want a normal-size shirt. Medium would be nice. And, I want to wear it to the Eclipse premiere — June 30, 2010. It may not be much incentive — it may even sound silly — but, for cryin’ out loud, sometimes you’ve just gotta go with whatever works for you. The truth is, it’s all psychological. It’s all about finding what helps you stay motivated and committed to the goal of losing weight.
2) Okay, so the cute play on the Twilight thing…well, I thought about my goal. I’d like to be down by 52 pounds (it’s that OCD tendency making me want to land on a nice, even number) by the premiere of Eclipse…you know, that aforementioned Eclipse premiere. So, I thought about lots of different blog names that would tie in the Twilight theme and keep me motivated. What does an eclipse do? It blocks the light; it casts shadows. That’s what being obese does to my life. It casts shadows of shame and doubt and fear. It blocks me from being able to do so many of the things I’d like to do.
A fitting analogy, I think.
3) I’m a blogger. I love to blog. I love to connect with people. I use writing to process and order my thoughts. I thought that maybe the accountability of blogging about my weight loss efforts would help to keep me committed. I also thought that maybe by being really transparent, I might encourage someone — or someone might feel inclined to encourage me. I also thought that I might hit on one of those big, pivotal Jillian moments in which I realize what it is, psychologically, that’s made me let myself get 100 pounds overweight.
So, here I am, the week of Thanksgiving, finally deciding to, once again, commit to losing weight. Yes, it’s a terrible week to make that decision, but, you know, I told my husband, doing something is better than doing nothing. Even if my only success this week is drinking more water and getting a bit more active, that’s still better than not drinking more water and not being more active while I eat lots of Thanksgiving food. A step in the right direction is a step away from the wrong one, right?
I’m hoping, by the time the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn, is made into a movie, I’ll be ready to change my blog title. I’m hoping my own goal-weight dawn will be breaking by that time. It’s something to look forward to.
If you’d care to join me — either as a fellow sojourner or as a cheerleader — I’d love to have you along for the ride.