I’ve seen comments floating around the Internet lately about expecting kids to do household chores being a form of child abuse. That just blows my mind. I’ve pretty much skimmed over the comments, but I sincerely hope that people are talking only about extremes because there are so many positive benefits of chores for kids.
Positive Benefits of Chores for Kids
When I was a kid, my jobs included emptying the trashcans around the house, dusting, vacuuming, and setting the table or clearing the dinner dishes. I’ll never forget the time our dishwasher broke.
Apparently, my brother and I had been complaining about loading the dishwasher. So, my step-dad purposely (unbeknownst to us at the time) chose not the replace the dishwasher. For months. My brother and I took turns handwashing and drying the dishes.
He was a lousy helper, just for the record.
You can bet that we never complained about loading the dishwasher again once we got a new one! Also, I may or may not have told my husband before we got married that a dishwasher was a requirement. {ahem}
Far from being abuse, expecting kids to do chores has many benefits. Being expected to complete household chores allows kids to:
1. Contribute to the running of the household
A long-term study by Dr. Marty Rossman, author and researcher, revealed that expecting children to contribute to the family by completing chores instilled in them a life-long sense of responsibility, competence, self-reliance, and self-worth.
Helping with chores gives kids a sense of belonging and allows them to feel like a necessary piece of the family unit.
2. Develop self-confidence
Successfully completing household chores helps kids develop confidence. Instead of telling kids they’re too little to help, show them how to do age-appropriate tasks.
My four-year-old niece loves to load my mom’s dishwasher. Does it take longer to let her help than it would for my mom to just do it herself? Of course. But you should see the sense of pride on my niece’s face when she’s finished.
I sometimes watch those junior chef shows. The kids can seriously cook better than I can. They are so confident in the kitchen. They didn’t get that way from someone telling them they were too little or thinking it was child abuse to let (or expect) them to help in the kitchen.
3. Avoid a sense of entitlement
I can’t even tell you how many times I have uttered the words, “I’m not the maid” in my lifetime. I am not about the kids sitting around watching TV or playing video games while I do the housework. I’m also not about handing out money just because I’m a nice person.
My kids learned early on that there are things expected of them because they live and breathe and share space and make messes in the house just like everyone else. They also know that there are jobs they can do to earn spending money.
I’m not going to lie. It kind of sucks when they become teenagers, get jobs, and no longer need to earn money for those jobs. I have to clean my own bathroom again. {sigh} (I still make them clean theirs.) I hate cleaning bathrooms.
They know that if they want to wear clean clothes, they need to wash them. I’m not the maid.
4. Develop a strong work ethic
Expecting kids to pitch in around the house helps them develop a strong work ethic. They learn that when given a job, they need to do it, do it well and complete it on time.
It has been so cool to watch my kids go out into the workforce and hear them talk about their jobs. They take such pride in their work, and it makes me so proud of them. Megan sometimes takes before and after pictures of the sections of clothes she works on at her job. Wow! (And, yes, she does keep her room neat.)
Josh got promoted to manager within six months of starting his job because of his pride in and sense of responsibility for doing his work. I firmly believe that expecting them to complete chores as kids – and complete them well – helped my kids develop the strong work ethic they display as adults.
5. Learn the life skills needed to manage their own homes
Household chores help kids them learn the skills they’ll need as adults managing their homes. My mom must not have made me clean toilets when I was a kid because I’m still not very good at it, and I can’t sew. But, I’ve pretty much got a handle on most other household chores.
My mom used to work nights so she’d usually get dinner started – like putting the meatloaf or casserole together – and I’d put it in the oven and make the side dishes. I didn’t have any problems cooking (or loading the dishwasher!) once I married and moved away from home.
Kids need to learn the life skills associated with household chores not only so they can help out in our homes, but so that they can one day successfully manage their homes.
Fun New Tool for Managing Household Chores
Probably one of the biggest complaints from parents when it comes to chores for kids is having to nag the kids to complete them. Nagging doesn’t help anyone. Bosses don’t nag employees. They write them up or fire them for not doing their jobs.
We used to have a nifty little chore chart when the kids were little. It was perfect for making sure that everyone knew what their chores were without me constantly reminding them.
Chore charts are so last decade, y’all. Today’s kids and parents are so much more tech-minded and guess what. There’s an app for that!
What the Homey App Is
The Homey app is perfect for assigning chores, making sure they get done (without nagging) and even paying your kids an allowance.
The app lets you set household chores for the whole family. If you pay your kids an allowance, you can track it in the Homey app, along with any extra paid jobs that they complete. Homey provides a fun, hands-on, and real-life opportunity for kids to learn about money management, budgeting, and responsibility.
Homey labels chores as either responsibilities (unpaid but possibly required for weekly allowance) or jobs (paid tasks beyond a child’s regular duties). You can require photo-proof of each job and set the app, so that completed work needs a parent’s approval. You can also set chores that kids need to finish before another activity (such as screen time).
Once a child marks a chore as complete, you get a notification letting you know so that you can make sure he did it correctly.
What the Homey App Does
All the money that your kids earn goes into their wallet on the Homey app. In their wallets, they can set up jars. These jars can use the popular “save, spend, and donate” three-jar method or each of the saving goals can have their own jar (such as individual jars for a new phone, a new bike, a charity organization, and long-term savings).
When kids reach their saving goals, you can pay them in cash or transfer funds to a connected bank account right from the app. Additionally, you can put extra money in a child’s wallet if you want to reward them or take money out (such as when your kids owe you for a purchase you made for them).
Homey also features a robust permissions system that lets parents pick and choose features that each child sees. For example, you might allow older kids to mark a younger sibling’s chores as completed. Or, you can let them edit chore due dates if they have to skip a day without letting younger kids see that option in the app.
With all these features, Homey promotes long-term saving. It also teaches kids about budgeting and banking and provides a tool for teaching responsibility. The Homey app is available on the App Store, Google Play, and Amazon.
Visit the Homey App website to learn more or to access the user manual or glossary of terms.
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